my close friend just volunteered as a poll worker for the PA presidential primaries which was held in a church, and she sent me a photo of the very anti-choice pamphlets they had laid out not exactly in line-of-sight to where you walk into and through to vote, but very, very close by
its not, I was riffing, its not that exaggerated but its like that.
Its like: Two guys square up to me. Big mistake. I swing wide with a right hand hay maker and he crumples like wet newspaper. His friend steps back. Too late. I gave him his chance. My fist fire out and collapse his solar plexus. He’s gasping for air as I stand over him. “Whos’s paying Franly to follow me?”, I demand. etc etc
Ive read two reacher books and they’re fucking hysterical. I cant believe how god damned dumb they are (first one was a gift from a client and I felt obliged to read it. second my wife got me as a joke).
Two bad dudes, thick as oak trees squared up to me. Bad choice. One made a move to see if I’d flinch. I didn’t. His friend’s eyelid flickered just a tiny but when his fake-out plan failed. Fear. I span around and swept my leg through both of their legs. All four of their kneecaps exploded into red mist and sent pressure shockwaves up their vascular systems with enough force to blow their eyeballs out of their sockets. Four peach pit sized occular orbs with red ribbons arced across the parking lot. Your move. Checkmate. I went back inside the bar and finished my beer looking like I’d been airbrushed with crimson. The beer was warm.
I know right? Only a few months ago, a teenager from down the street was found dead, so we went to the neighborhood over and burned it to the ground, killing every man woman and child, and the cops came and just kind of watched. now we sit around drinking coors light and and talking about how cool its going to be to go to hevean where the coors light never gets cold
sees phone lens cover: “this is an old timey eclipse monocle”… I’m just teasing the idea of an eclipse monocle just made me giggle. I hope you’re eyes are ok- it sounds like you’re good?