ChickenLadyLovesLife

@ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world

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ChickenLadyLovesLife,

No! What will Hakari do?

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

I could never live any place that banned Jungle.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

I drive a 25-year-old car and the only reason I’m able to play music from my phone on the car’s sound system is that it was built to accommodate a 6-disc CD changer in the trunk. For $50 I was able to hook up an accessory that plugs into the changer port and fools the car stereo into thinking the audio signal from the phone is actually coming from a CD changer. Unfortunately my newest phone of course has no 3.5mm audio jack and the USB-C adapter has like a third the maximum volume of a normal plug. Oh well, better for my hearing at least.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

I miss wearing short-sleeved graphic tees over long-sleeved white tees. Everybody reminisces about the '90s flannel shirts but I feel the dual tees thing was more representative of that era.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

I just learned from my doctor that you can poop in a cup and mail it off somewhere instead of getting the finger up the butt. Yay! Now I can procrastinate and not do something only mildly unpleasant instead of not doing something miserable.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

I’m a programmer, and this reminds me of one time when I got a support call about a bug in our app: a “State” picklist with 509 entries (for you non-United Statesians, this is a bit more than the 50 or so states - we sometimes include shit like DC, Puerto Rico and Guam in these lists - I should have been seeing), including about 20 different versions of “Louisiana” (like Lousiana, Louisiania etc.) and lots of different countries (occasionally spelled correctly). What had happened was that we originally had a table in the database for listing all the states, and one of our coders got the assignment to add a marriage license module to the app, mirroring the state’s paper form that was used for this. Since the “State” line had to accommodate people from other countries, the clerks just used this line to enter whatever country they were from and insisted on the same functionality in the app. Since our database was fully relational, this coder just used the existing “States” table but added new entries in code whenever a user typed out a non-standard thing in the box. Completely hosing every place in the app that used a States picklist.

The real mystery was how this table grew to 509 entries before anyone noticed a problem.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

It included whatever the clerks felt like typing into that part of the form. There were even a couple of people’s names in there.

ChickenLadyLovesLife, (edited )

I unfortunately have the wisdom of the convert, the faith of a bear, the strength of the aged, and the patience of a very tired mother.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

Reminds me of my first anti-joke as a kid:

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Andropov [the Soviet Premier before Gorbachev]
Andropov who?
Andropov the kids at school!

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Gorbachev
Gorbachev who?
Gorbachev the kids at school!

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

1 that’s just batshit random

Rick Rubin claims credit for this. Says when Serge Tankian was having trouble finishing the lyrics for Chop Suey, Rubin told him to pull a random book off the shelf and open it to a random page and use whatever was there (this is supposedly where the “Father into your hands I commend my spirit …” bit came from).

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

Spy magazine back in the late '80s and early '90s was basically an NYC magazine and they used to mercilessly rip on Trump. Every year they did a “Top 10 Worst People, Places or Things” list and he was always on it. One year, the only mitigating factors in his favor were his offer to pay for the funeral of a child killed by a bear (which he probably reneged on) and the fact that he didn’t run for office.

They also did a prank once where they sent checks for tiny amounts to millionaires to see who would cash them. Trump survived the first round by cashing a check (that he actually hand-endorsed) for something like $1.30, and he was one of two recipients to cash the last round of checks for 13 cents. Dude has been the exact same bit of trash for his entire life.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

it was the first one

Uh, I think the Magna Carta is a little bit older.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

No way. Big corporations like … uh … Boeing would never just kill somebody to protect their billions of dollars of earnings.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

I love how people take the Soviet revolution as some sort of example of success, when what actually happened was that the original government collapsed because it was getting the shit kicked out of it by Germany, then a new government took over and got the shit kicked out it of by Germany before also collapsing, then the Bolsheviks strolled into literally empty government buildings and took over - against the judgement of most of the Bolsheviks who still thought the time wasn’t right to take over. Hardly a replicable or generalizable sequence of events.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

That’s why OP wrote “leftist” instead of leftist.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

Not voting is letting trump have an easier time at victory

The core of the GOP’s strategy for holding on to power is the disenfranchisement of voters who are opposed to them. Not voting (or voting third party) is self-disenfranchisement and doing the GOP’s work for them.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

Adlai Stevenson

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

That’s crazy. I always associated smoking with pigging out on junk food - like, five to six thousand calories a day of junk food - so I always gained a huge amount of weight. BTW anybody who thinks eating five to six thousand calories a day is impossible has never sat down and eaten a whole box (12) of Dunkin Donuts, one after the other. Or eaten a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s, driven to the store for another pint, eaten it, and then driven back to the store for a third pint.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

My munchies were always worse the more chronically I smoked. The problem with chronic smoking is that you don’t really get much of a high after the first bowl of the day, so I would replace that with the taste rush of a mound of junk food.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

TBH I don’t really know how I managed to eat all that shit, but the human body adapts to all kinds of mistreatment. I’m currently extremely fit and I eat healthy, and even just eating one donut now kind of fucks me up - makes me all jittery and nauseous.

Kids In The Hall forever!

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

If his flag has yellow, he’s a fine fellow
If his flag has white, you’re in for a fight

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

Vatican City? Just stay away from those 12-year-olds.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

I would add getting a head massage to this prior to the actual cutting. I never wanted the fucking head massage and I always felt mildly embarrassed for the barber having to do this - didn’t matter what gender they were.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

What Would Anubis Do?

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

I would normally be afraid to enjoy Taylor Swift’s Jet™ memes out of fear of being accused of misogyny, but my Swiftie relatives have already accused me of that simply because I don’t like her music. So bring 'em on!

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

They don’t care about the hypocrisy, it’s the being opposed to Trump that they think is the worst part.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

At least the bags say “OPEN HERE”. We’d be fucked if they said “OPEN IN ZIMBABWE” or something like that.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

I used to work for a large corporation and one day I found myself in a meeting with a bunch of female vice presidents where I was the only man there. The presenter was unable to display on the big screen because she didn’t have a connector; I happened to have the right kind and loaned it to her.

She said “you’re pretty handy to have around.” My brain decided that a clever thing to say in response would be “well, I’m pretty well-endowed in the dongle department” and I started to say that before my brain thought better of it and cut me off. So what I actually said was “well, I’m pretty well-endowed”. One woman in the room actually guffawed but everybody else managed to ignore it - although I’m willing to bet this story was told later more than a few times.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

Sam Kinison had a good joke about people wanting Jesus to come back. “Yeah, I’ll be back when I can PLAY THE PIANO AGAIN!!!”

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

Hell, I’m still on Civilization III.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

Now that’s pretty extreme. Quake II was the shit.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

Excellent image-based propaganda, showing Trump clapping which implies he’s celebrating exoneration.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

He didn’t even sacrifice his son since Jesus is back in Heaven with him now. It’s more like he sent his son off to summer camp where the other kids were admittedly kinda mean to him.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

Eh, I’m a school bus driver and that shit is like the main topic of discussion in the break room. It’s usually that, dog-whistle euphemisms for racism, or outright use of the n-word.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

Most of the climate change predictions I’ve heard in my lifetime have talked about stuff that would happen by 2050 or 2100. It’s always been bullshit, just a way of pushing out the consequences beyond a timeframe we can actually conceive of effectively. In reality this shit is already hitting us and accelerating hard.

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