Squeezer

@Squeezer@lemmy.world

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Squeezer,

How can you be so bent out of shape as a human to think that fucking over kids at the Evelina is the way to spend your day, to make your daily bread.

Squeezer,

I’ve had a couple of women follow me in to public toilets and commandeer aim. I had to muster unbelievable levels of concentration to get it done. Some bit of my brain has never worked at that level before or since.

Squeezer,

I used to work for a general builder we all called Nick The Freak. We were in our mid twenties and having a pretty good time of things off site. I used to call up the gaffer and say “Nick man, I can’t make it to the job today, I feel like shit” and he would say- yea Squeezer, Mars is in alignment with Saturn this week. Understandable. I’ve never appreciated bullshit so much.

Squeezer,

See, I’m not a fan of the royal family, but I’m pretty sure Charles would never talk to that cunt for a second, and for that I give him a tiny shred of respect.

Squeezer,

This reminds me of when we found we could bulk buy ephedrine over the counter from chemists in sub saharan Africa and go to uninhabited islands off the coast and get messed up. Happy days.

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