Monster96,

Gunning down helpess mutants, raiders, and scavengers who happen to cross my path in a nuclear wasteland. I think I might get the chair for mass genocide.

alx,
@alx@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Technically, is making hats out of human leather actually a crime?

ICastFist,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

It’s only a crime if laws exist taps head

isVeryLoud,

Killing the entire population of Mos Eisley Cantina and destroying all its property for studs.

ICastFist,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

Eh, it’s a hive of scum and villainy, I think the judge will let that slip

chetradley,

Falcon punching Pikachu.

ICastFist,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

There are no laws against pokemon, batman!

Zugyuk,

Turning the universe into paperclips

Custoslibera,

Turning the universe into cookies.

ICastFist,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

Does that include indentured servitude of grandmas?

KingThrillgore,
@KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml avatar

Animal abuse

ToxicWaste,

For yelling too loud.

Statement of an observing police officer:

They say ToxicWaste murdered that Salesman… with his voice! Shouted him apart!

ICastFist,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

Rumor is, said officer used to be a criminal like ToxicWaste, until he took an arrow to the knee.

Bombastion,

Creating an endless torture mansion (finally got around to Sexy Brutale)

NorthWestWind,
@NorthWestWind@lemmy.world avatar

Shooting people with ink until they explode violently

butter,

Hentai

NorthWestWind, (edited )
@NorthWestWind@lemmy.world avatar

I mean, you’re not wrong. It does have tentacles.

BallShapedMan,
@BallShapedMan@lemmy.world avatar

Driving my mostly broken car badly as the door pops open when I shift into drive.

Cyanogenmon,
@Cyanogenmon@lemmy.world avatar

My Summer Car?

BallShapedMan,
@BallShapedMan@lemmy.world avatar

If you drive it in the Pacific area and every time you die your car saves you and takes you back to the garage, yes!

AceFuzzLord,

Murdering zombies with plants.

One could say it’s zombies vs. plants!

Two2Tango,

Squatting - Nightingale

billwashere,

Delivering pizzas (Death Stranding)

vladmech,

Loving Managed Democracy too hard

KrankyKong,

Destroying a planet solely to exterminate an invasive species in order to thwart the plans of a space pirate organization who were planning on leveraging the powers of said invasive species for nefarious purposes.

At least I saved the animals.

SoleInvictus,
@SoleInvictus@lemmy.world avatar

Which game is this? Because it sounds amazing.

Fatticus,

I’d guess Metroid.

KrankyKong,

Super metroid!

SoleInvictus,
@SoleInvictus@lemmy.world avatar

Haha, oh man. I see it now.

Makeshift,

Filling my o2 tanks, taking out the trash, and monitoring a tree’s nutrient levels. With a headless dead guy in the middle of the floor the whole time. Only reporting the dead guy afterwards unless someone walks in on me doing so first.

My normal co-workers will even vouch that I do that kind of thing regularly so it’s not even suspicious. It’s just me being weird.

… I’ll be getting the death sentence for that eventually.

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