match,
@match@pawb.social avatar

We found the villain to the no-poop-for-three-days story

scytale,

Eat a bag of sugar-free gummy bears or a half gallon of sugar-free ice cream. Another option as one other comment mentioned are those unregulated asian slimming teas that have questionable ingredients. The safest and most practical solution is a laxative used for colonoscopy prep.

Agent641,

Sugar free gummy bears will make you shit your pants in 2 hours. And in 3 hours. And in 4 hours. Etc.

Atin,

Mainline dysentery infected blood

Toes,

Lookup “colon cleansing”.

taiyang,

I initially misread the question as, if I was to shit my pants in 2 to 6 hours, how/where should I do it. Optimally, for maximum impact, probably on TV at a major event.

nifty,
@nifty@lemmy.world avatar

Improperly cooked eggs or chicken can help

cordlesslamp,

Depends on where you live, that could literally kill you. Salmonella are no joke.

over_clox,

100% Salmonella ain’t no joke!

Very potentially deadly! I’ve had it once, got lucky and only went half crazy and bleeding a bit from the inside and out…

cordlesslamp,

Got food poisoning from an undercooked egg last week. Literally became a human fountain on BOTH ENDS, at the SAME TIME!! Never felt so… empty inside, literally.

Thanks God it’s not salmonella even though it dragged me halfway to hell. If salmonella is worse than that, I wouldn’t wish it for my worst enemies.

kindenough,

You should ask Ted Nugent, he is an expert

Anti_Iridium, (edited )

I’m very glad that him being a pants shitting draft dodger, and later bragging about how great of a special forces guy he would have been is general knowledge.

kindenough,

Heh, a worldwide known fact. I am Dutch but when I read 'shit + pants' the answer always be that crusty pants mf.

Tikiporch,

Sprite and magnesium citrate. A dose takes about 30 minutes to work, so if you dilute it in a 20 ounce bottle it should hit at about the 2 hour mark depending on how your body reacts.

real_ted_yogurt,
@real_ted_yogurt@lemmy.world avatar

This is the stuff to use, but I don’t think diluting will work like this. I recommend taking it, with a bit of sprite 30 minutes before showtime.

Stay hydrated!

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

Hopefully the shortage isn’t still going on. There was a huge shortage a couple years ago and I couldn’t get it anywhere. Had to resort to an enema to prep for my surgery.

Tikiporch,

My local Walmart has it for $1.47 in grape, cherry, and lemon. Looks like Walgreens has it too!

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

Don’t get the lemon. It’s way too strong of a flavor lmao

hactar42,

I lost 7.5 lbs in one night due to that stuff. I went to the doctor because I kept having diarrhea. Turns out I was so constipated the only thing that could make its way out was liquid. I drank a bottle of that stuff and 45 minutes later…well…you know that one scene from Dumb and Dumber? Yeah, that was me for like an hour and half straight.

iAvicenna,
@iAvicenna@lemmy.world avatar

are you trying to get someone to break off with you?

FeelzGoodMan420,

Just take laxatives 30 minutes prior to needing to shit your pants?

Omgboom,

Is there a taco bell near you?

answersplease77,

he said 2 hrs not 2 minutes

AngryCommieKender,

Hairbo sugar free gummy bears

Dkarma,

They said 2-6 hrs. Not 2-6 min

madmaurice,
@madmaurice@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

Just wait 2 hours before eating.

simplejack,
@simplejack@lemmy.world avatar

This is easy. Google “miralax colonoscopy prep solution”

Enjoy!

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