Sam_Bass,

Redbull would beg to differ

el_abuelo,

It’s a good thing they included the coin for scale otherwise we might have just assumed this person had Trump sized hands (another completely valid and totally real unit of measure, the greatest unit of all time actually)

BigDanishGuy,

The first line took a while to read. First try I got what could be written as:

“Sizes of energy drink can pelts, we salute you”

I mean “drink can pelts” is a weird way to say aluminum

tiredofsametab,

"energy-drink-can-sized hail..." is how I would have written it. Or, y'know, used numbers like a sane person.

dingus,

Well, I mean it’s less weird to write “golf ball-sized hail” bcause it’s a rather common way to describe the size of hail. Energy drink cans are cylindrical, so it doesn’t make immediate sense in anyone’s brain in the sentence as a comparison. I’m guessing the author couldn’t think of a common enough spherical item of the right size to compare with. Still, I think hyphens would have immediately fixed the strangeness, like the person below you commented.

BigDanishGuy,

Or commas, and better grammar, would have done wonders, too.

“Hail, the size of energy drink can[s], pelt[ed] Texas […]”

Waraugh,

I like the spherical references. I don’t know why he wouldn’t stick with balls.

ouRKaoS,

Sports equipment and fruit are the common comparison for spherical objects.

“Grape sized hail” is quick and easy. “Softball sized” gives the proper “holy shit that’s huge” reaction.

Eyck_of_denesle,

I’m ngl, this was so hard to read. Why does english have 2 meanings for can?

Eyedust,
@Eyedust@lemmy.world avatar

Three. Depending on where you are in the U.S., a toilet is also a “can”. It’s more of a slang meaning, but if you ever hear an American saying they’re “going to go hit the can,” it means they’re going to use the bathroom.

bob_lemon,

Also, why should we hail the size of energy drink cans?

Eyck_of_denesle,

I’ll tell you a secret. I’ve never had an energy drink in my life so I don’t even know it’s size.

tiredofsametab,

Can you do the can can whilst canning peas and drinking a can of monster all whilst on the can?

ICastFist,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

Imagine a language invented by a drunken german who thought french sounded nice. That’s english in a nutshell

wieson,

Also pelts can mean fur or yeet

Etterra,

Funny, I’ve never seen an energy drink come in a can that small.

Sconrad122,

Low key convinced this started out as “monster hail” and then got butchered by an AI or like 5 Google translate passes

synae,
@synae@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Fuck border patrol, I hereby upgrade “possible tornado” to “neighborhood tornado watch”

callouscomic,

“possible tornado” hurt someone?

What?

Madison420,

Someone wanted comp and the government is filled with gullible idiots.

MonkderDritte,

Was it one or was it not?

Eiim,

Well, you can have a funnel cloud, but it’s not a tornado until the condensation funnel touches the ground, and it’s not always clear what the case is until proper surveying is done.

UltraMagnus0001,

quick! pour some Gatorade on the crops so it grows better

PhlubbaDubba,

Inb4 euros still being mad about “they’ll use anything but metric!”

RecluseRamble,

Inb4

Nope, you’re late.

lemmylommy,

Quickly, shrinkflate the energy drinks

brbposting,

Media is in cahoots - groundwork laid for the gaslight

EmoDuck,

How to actually read this:

Hail the size of energy. (Meaning ‘Glory to the size of energy’)

Drink can pelts Texas while possible tornado injuries US Border Patrol agent.

samus12345,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

How do you get the pelt off of an energy drink can, though?

spankinspinach,

Or, is it drink can doing the pelting of Texas? Also an interesting option

BubbleMonkey,

A surprising lot of them are re-skinned, actually, so that’s a legit thing. Depending on your definition of pelt.

Lots of cans that were printed for discontinued lines, or printed before a label change, have plastic sleeves over the can to re-brand them, even when the label on the old and new is identical…

pezmaker,
@pezmaker@programming.dev avatar

In other news, several border patrol agents seen chasing tornado with tasers drawn.

Okokimup,
@Okokimup@lemmy.world avatar

Someone alert Alex Horne

Otakulad,

Using republican logic, God hates the border patrol.

cerement,
@cerement@slrpnk.net avatar

based tornado

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