The CIA is often in charge of designating drone targets.
Not everyone who is targeted is an “insurgent commander”
Even “insurgent commanders” have families who might not have much choice about their proximity.
US military prisons like Abu Ghraib and Gitmo were famously filled with victims of grudges and bounties. Basically the US pays informants for targets, and informants just point at whoever they want. Military “intelligence” has a lot of holes in it to rely on it as an authority on who lives or dies-- and that’s before we even get into “collateral”.
Speaking of “collateral”, yes that is a weasel word, much like “terrorist”. Don’t allow the perpetrator to define the terms for you. If there was one US general in the twin towers, would that have made the other 3k victims “collateral damage”?