I once set up vpn on a remote system via ssh, and then wondered for a split second why my connection went down when the remote machine switched to being connected to the internet via the vpn.
The point is that thereâs a difference in the environment.
Would you go âholy hell, you have a problemâ when someone is high strung, and expect it to go down well in person?
Would you suggest to someone that they have a problem to the point of needing professional care, when they lose their cool for the first time in over a year? And that one outburst is your entire context?
There is literally nothing unusual about getting angry.
The only abnormal factor here is how people online react to someone when that happens, and dare to express it.
How is encouraging you to share how the behaviour of others affects you, an argument against pointing out bad behaviour?
What I said was, is that you donât get to tell others how their behaviour affects them, only how it affects you.
âThat makes me feel badâ instead of âThat canât be making you feel goodâ. The first one you can know is true, on the second, you are always guessing.
Why not? How do you expect to realize a fair and good internet, controlled by its users instead of corporations driven by motives far removed from what is in the interest of users, or even humanity as a species?
You still donât have to, Iâll do it. But someone has to. Would you donate to your own instance?
I wouldnât mind hosting my own lemmy instance either, but as itâs a public platform anyway I donât have the same qualms about using an instance hosted by someone else. So I opted not to take on any more work on that.
Not everyone needs to self host, you might get away with knowing someone who does. And no, I wouldnât accept a nextcloud account hosted by just anyone, but my siblings and parents happily utilize ones provided by me.
And back when teamspeak, mumble, ventrilo, minecraft servers, cs servers, etc. all had to be âself-hostedâ there were plenty of service providers who would do all the technical work for the layman, in exchange for direct payment. Making all those services quite accessible to anyone.
That was so much better than how today we âpayâ by getting datamined.
The strongest argument for me is that discord is commercial, borne of venture capital spent on operating at a loss for years to gain users. It is therefore bound for a turn towards profit and enshittification, sooner, rather than later.
No one needed to take my edits seriously, or personally. I made them for me, for personal catharsis, to express something normally bottled up.
But a lot of people saw them and thought, âlol a lunatic, letâs poke at itâ. I knew that would happen, but it wasnât the point, and I will never feel remorse for poking back when it did.
Itâs really not that complicated.
I would urge you to refrain from trying to diagnose people over social media. You donât have anything close to the full context of someoneâs entire life. What actual problems they are dealing with, what coping mechanisms theyâve put together, or how effective they are.
What if someone already has a therapist? What if you contradict that therapist? Yes, sometimes thatâs necessary, but you better be damn sure about it, then.
You could seriously interfere with someoneâs care by commenting on this stuff like this.
The only thing you can legitimately be an authority on is how my actions affected you. If you are looking to aid in someoneâs self-improvement, sharing that is far more effective than displaying concern for their health, or commenting on care they might already be receiving.
You cannot even begin to claim to know to how my actions affect me.
And youâre boring me. You basically promised to entertain me, but this is kiddie shit.
I give you logic and you go ânuh-uh, ur totally madâ as if that doesnât make you the guy with a raging hate-boner furiously fapping at the misery you think youâre causing.
Not bad. A response like this and I would have treated you with respect from the start. The way Iâve done throughout these â4 hoursâ in other threads. That switch isnât hard to flip, especially when Iâm not as out of control as I pretend to be.
But Iâve been keeping up with this thread since last night, sleeping, going to work, cooking⊠I ran a discussion thread on !dungeonmeshi and much more.
This stuff doesnât bleed for me. I donât get pissed from a comment online then tear into a friend on discord. I donât have trouble keeping separate things separate.
My very source of frustration is the lack of the kind of consideration you are showing now, the kind every person on earth should be capable of. My edits are screams into a pillow, because the only people who see them are the ones who either come back, or showed up after the people I made those edits in response to.
The people who came across my edits and then decide âyeah, Iâll pile onâ may not be the same people that sparked my frustration, but they are the very same kind that cause it.
Face to face, we donât deal with angry people the way we do online. In person we react with caution and empathy. Is that what happened here?
Yes, I played into the unfortunate reality of how this works online for my own satisfactionâŠ
But your appeal for me to remember that there are people on the other side, is redundant.
I didnât forget that. I explicitly took aim at the type of person that does, and I donât think I missed.
You canât know. No one can read facial cues and body language from text, and thereby mood.
So the best we can do with mere words, is use enough of them to get our point across.
What is yours? Couldnât help noticing that youâve been reduced to âhaving a lot to say means angeryâ which is not much of a anything. It only works if you happen to be coincidentally right, and even then thereâs no causal link.
Itâs basically a sad attempt at geting the last word in, but without actually saying anything.
Youâre just pushing buttons in the dark hoping to find one that hurts. And you wonât even know when or even if you succeed. What kind of person does that?
And do you seriously think me so dumb that I thought for a second my edits wouldnât summon even more downvotes? That my adversarial stance would actually make anyone back off?
Only one person ticked me off here.
Iâm the one who then managed to piss off something like two dozen of you douchebags.
The internet doesnât deal with angry users the way we deal with angry people in person, with care, sympathy and caution.
When people think someone is losing it online, you pile on like the psychopaths you are.