I honestly could not disagree with your assessment more.
There’s literally a term for this “being mean to them” - it’s called using the bully pulpit, and in our finest moments of federal progressive activism it has proven incredibly effective. Read into how FDR managed to deal with the obstructionist Dixiecrats to learn more about this tactic.
Quite conversely, Senator Sanders is widely regarded as too nice. He wasn’t willing to fully commit to attacking establishment democrats for their corrupt ways, and many consider this to be the real reason he didn’t capture the nomination.
Speaking of establishment corruption - Dems had the 60 seats during Obama’s first term and chose not to pursue Roe codification. They had months to do so before Kennedy died, and I assure you that legislation has been drafted and ready to go for decades. They just needed to vote on it, but chose not to in order to continue fear mongering and fund raising over abortion rights. More recently during Biden’s first term, they could have abolished the filibuster to pass it once the Supreme Court’s motivations became clear via the leaked memo, but again chose to do nothing. That’s the establishment DNC for you.
Lastly, bullying voters is a losing strategy Dems have employed since at least 2016.it didn’t work then, and it isn’t working now. Consider demanding leadership with conviction instead.