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-Emma-

@-Emma-@fedia.io

🏳️‍⚧️ trans girl [she/her] 🏳️‍⚧️

New account, same Emma!!

old accounts: Emma@kglitch.social & emma@kbin.sh

Let's hope this instance doesn't go extinct like the others!

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

-Emma-,
@-Emma-@fedia.io avatar

You're in southeast Louisiana? Do you happen to use Matrix? I'd rather not join things like Discord if I can help it, and I'm not really a gamer. My laptop probably couldn't handle running steam anyway.

-Emma-,
@-Emma-@fedia.io avatar

Thank you for the reminder for myself and others that read this thread. Yes, I am aware of the dangers and the necessity of public meetings, and I'd probably bring a family member with me if I actually find someone here to meet.

Thank you for the well wishes and support.

-Emma-,
@-Emma-@fedia.io avatar

Thanks cowboy, and yes it's been nice.

...But I also feel like I've been numb for so long that this sudden capacity for feeling, mixed with these new relationships, has just melted me down to my very core and left me more distraught than I otherwise would have been. It's one thing to be lonely, but it's quite another to feel so connected and loved by others and yet unable to ever be in their presence. I was more positive when I made my original post searching for friends, but this time I'm just...I don't even know. I came here to distract myself, and I figured I may as well do this now, call out to the void to save me. But there's no one coming. I don't have hope that anything will come of these threads. I don't think I'm likely to find anyone. I just wish this were all easier. I wish I could just meet my friends and feel a sense of calm wash over me, allowing me to relax and breath easy, knowing everything will be okay. I need to be strong for others, but I also struggle to be strong for myself, and I wish I could just cry with my friends. I've cried enough tears in solitude, and I don't wanna feel trapped anymore. I can't continue like this; I need an escape from the pain.

-Emma-,
@-Emma-@fedia.io avatar

Well I'm thankfully close to the Greater New Orleans Area, instead of being totally isolated from blue cities. As a last resort, I might try to work up the courage to go to Pride stuff this year, but I'm so nervous of large crowds of people and evereything being recorded for social media now. If it weren't for all of the cameras, I might actually be able to find LGBTQ+ people during carnival time.

Thank you for the luck 🍀 😊

-Emma-,
@-Emma-@fedia.io avatar

I appreciate the recommendation, but there really aren't any mobile apps that are compatible with my Librem 5 phone. I run Linux, and I'm not comfortable running "traditional" apps that contain surveillance malware and engage in data harvesting. Social websites generally tend to require too much personal information, and so I feel banned from those platforms. I'm very glad to have access to the fediverse. Without it, I would have nothing.

I'm going to try to go to Pride events for the first time in my life and see if I can find anyone.

-Emma-,
@-Emma-@fedia.io avatar

I've checked out fetlife, but it unfortunately requires javascript, which is a hard pass from me. I don't feel comfortable accessing sites that block users like me. The reason that I use kbin/mbin is because it does not require javascript at all. Account creation and use of the platform are free from that requirement, giving me a better user experience and increased privacy.

Thank you for the suggestion though ❤️

-Emma-,
@-Emma-@fedia.io avatar

I maybe got a little carried away in this comment.

What really pissed you off in a therapy session?

TL,DR: lack of privacy, security, communication, and respect

I'm not going to discuss the conservative "therapist" I had. I did eventually get an LGBTQ-friendly therapist.

I discovered that my therapist was typing up her notes on a Windows computer with a keylogger enabled by default, sending the data to Microsoft. The notes were also stored unencrypted on a server accessible by the entire IT department of the clinic.

She didn't understand the issue. This clearly voids patient-doctor confidentiality, and it destroyed my trust in the clinic.

I've experienced another issue while searching for a new therapist.

I found a therapist on the psychology today site that listed a full address. I showed up to make an appointment for a first session just to learn that she doesn't accept new clients without a phone call or email.

The only reason I had considered her was that she listed a full address, implying that phone and email weren't needed.

So I would recommend clearly communicating things like this, be privacy-conscious, and respect patient-doctor confidentiality. Without these fundamentals, there is no foundation of trust and respect.

What is the most important thing for me to try to understand?

I think the most important thing to understand for trans patients is that everyone's transition is unique, including the personal story.

So for instance, some trans girls/women say they were always a girl/woman, while others say they became a girl/woman.

It's important to listen and understand the individual and not get ahead of yourself.

I hope this is helpful, or at least interesting.

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