I have this but not about being a softie, but about speaking too loud. I know I do it, I know it’s bad, I’m thankful when someone points it out so I can adjust, but I’m still mega pissed off for a moment when someone does.
But if someone called me a pussy or insinuated it’s not masculine to have a healthy relationship with your emotions? That definitely would bother me.
Yea, I was referring more to this part. Like sure, other ppl’s tolerance to hurtful stuff that u say might be high, but mine isn’t. When I confront u with this, u just dismiss it by hand waving the issue like “oh you’re too soft n delicate either ways”. Like NO. I mean I may be “soft n delicate”, but could you just not be mean?
I’m sorry people are doing stuff like this to you. I’m a relatively thin skinned individual, personally. People say you’re supposed to just grow thicker skin, but why can’t we instead focus on trying to get the assholes to not be assholes? Idk man, I guess it’s not very realistic. Hope your day goes ok.
I used to think that way, feeling embarrassed when someone pointed out I had emotions.
I realized over time it was my dad who taught me to feel that shame, and the friend group I was with. Slowly I started to realize that it wouldn’t matter, and let myself be me a bit more.
Life definitely got easier. When they talk about toxic masculinity, that’s it. Forcing you to hide who you are because you think it isn’t manly or something. It’s wrong though. I met my wife and she liked me because I was in touch with my emotions. It’s become a part of me. Hell I finally realized I love Taylor Swift because I emotionally connect with her songs where before I could never let myself like her music.
Society pushes all of these weird rules on us, and man does life get easier when you just stop caring about them
Yeah, “softie” sounds like an insult. I’d rather have emotional intelligence than to be (or act) calloused to the world. Feelings are part of the human experience.
Haha glad to see that I’m not alone in thinking this way. Like, logically it makes sense. But when u’r constantly bombarded with the “emotion bad” propaganda or whatever, u start to question and doubt urself.
time and time again those who ignore their feelings just end up having worse and worse problems later. So many marriages end because one person refuses to open up. Repression leads to substance abuse. It’s better all around to acknowledge emotions
Man you were definitely lucky to meet ur wife, huh. Idk, it just has been very difficult to find ppl like these irl for me. And for those who were like this, they just treated me like I was dumb or something. You know, more “childlike” or whatever.
Someone who gets upset at the seemingly silliest stuff. Like a little bit of teasing for example. I get rlly sad n stuff when someone teases me even when it’s apparently “harmless fun” or whatever.
You are who you are, and trying to cover that up just leads to further issues down the line.
To some degree, a skill you can learn is to accept it and let it roll off. Laugh with them. Because all the time you spend dwelling on what was said to you just drags you down into a pointless funk and reframes how you think about yourself.
You’re sensitive, that’s an asset. If your friends want to exploit that, ask them to stop and find better friends if they won’t.
thats not softie in the usage I have encountered. For me its always been applied to someone who goes out of their way to help something that others might not bother with. Like moving bugs to another location rather than squashing them or helping a bird that fell out of a tree or such. Honeslty I don't think I have ever encountered it as much of an insult its more compliment but can suggest one might be to soft to do stuff I guess. Im used to hearing it, even in media, as like. you old softie.
I don’t know if it’d be possible for someone to think I’m not a softie, but I do kinda understand what you mean, even if it’s nit exactly the same for me 😅
I don’t know if it’d be possible for someone to think I’m not a softie
Hehe yeah, same. But uk… U don’t have to TELL me that. Like… I already know that, ok? The worst part is when ppl use the “u r a softie” card to justify the hurtful and insensitive shit that they said.
Ah, I think you might be describing a different thing than I was thinking of, generally its my friends poking fun and making remarks like “oh my god, you’re so baby” (it’s true, I am 😔) not assholes. I have limited exposure to people I don’t like currently, which I’m very grateful for
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