muculent,
some_guy,

Haaaaaaa! This was awesome.

dumbass,
@dumbass@leminal.space avatar

I could fight him.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Don’t fight children.

dumbass,
@dumbass@leminal.space avatar

If that child is coming to take my flesh, imma fight that kid.

random_character_a,
@random_character_a@lemmy.world avatar

Christian church approves this message and invites you to the next local communion.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I’ve said for years that Jesus is an inverse zombie. Living people consume his flesh.

bruhduh,
@bruhduh@lemmy.world avatar

c/twosentencehorror

paddirn,

(whispering) “I’m gonna tell you this just once, so listen good. You’re gonna tell me what I want to know because I got my nose buried so goddamn deep in your ear that all it’ll take is one little white lie before I’m performing brain surgery on you. And the fact that you’re not dead after I said that should tell you that I ain’t fucking around. Now, are you going to tell me where the fuck Geppetto is, or do I need to tell you about the biggest fish I ever caught?”

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot,

Gonna have to catch an even bigger fish.

nilloc,

I read this in cheery/ high pitched version of Liam Neeson’s voice and it was great.

pyrflie,

“They say ‘you are what you eat’. I’m gonna be a real boy.”

Asudox,
@Asudox@lemmy.world avatar

Explain the nose growing.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I don’t know, but as a person of the Hebraic persuasion, I sympathize.

pyrflie,

The nose didn’t grow. That’s the scary part.

indianboy42,

Must be why I’m such a pussy 😎

pyrflie,

Probably cause no one want’s anything to do with you.

Self immolate on another thread; dead end.

indianboy42,

Chill, it’s just a joke, and not even one at your expense

Triyfer,

I have these strings

To hold you down

I tie them tight, you can’t burst out

You might scream

But I’m happy

I’ve got your skin on me

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