We trained them poorly, on purpose, as a prank on all brown people. And socialists. And queers. And the unhoused. And drug enjoyers. And everyone that doesn’t do what the state says at all times.
It’s not the acorns that are the problem, dude. It’s the fucking squirrels. They’ve been stashing them away… waiting for the right time.
You think the acorn that hit the cop just fell from a tree? Don’t be naive! There a was a squirrel behind the grassy knoll that launched it at the cop.
Squirrels are the criminal element. I know because I have both squirrels and oak trees in my back yard. Thankfully, the acorns have a K-9 unit that keeps the squirrels in check.
By the way…this actually happened. A cop lost his shit and screamed “SHOTS FIRED!” when an acorn fell near him. He started shooting all over the place in a suberb which caused another cop nearby to also start shooting at nothing.
Why do we train our cops to be so terrified of everything?
I think it might be hiring. I’ve got a relative who was too paranoid and antsy for the post office, but he’s fit right in as a sheriff’s deputy. I’m glad he found a place to belong.
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