Kolanaki,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Stuff marshmallows up your butt. The glycerine in them will make you evacuate your bowels within 10 minutes as they dissolve.

spare_muppets,

I can’t stop laughing from thinking about someone stuffing marshmallows up their ass.

Scubus,

<insert mark as NSFW train copypasta>

over_clox,

You’ve tried it too? I got to 31, then farted…

My girlfriend wasn’t impressed.

Num10ck,

sounds like cloudseeding

MrNesser,

I kinda want to try this to see if it’s true but also ewww

nightwatch_admin,

nobody:
klysma kinkers: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Cosmocrat,

A banana or 3 is more ergonomic and has the same effect.

surewhynotlem,

This, plus your username backwards, makes me think this is the voice of experience.

wabafee,
@wabafee@lemmy.world avatar

Is this speaking from experience?

olutukko,

this is true. don’t ask how I know

AngryCommieKender,

Hairbo sugar free gummy bears

Dkarma,

They said 2-6 hrs. Not 2-6 min

madmaurice,
@madmaurice@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

Just wait 2 hours before eating.

Usernamealreadyinuse,

Ok so i think it is cool everybody answers the question…

But why PenisWenisGenius? Why do you need this information?

PenisWenisGenius,

Just asking for a friend 😇

Agosagror,
@Agosagror@sh.itjust.works avatar

Which friend and why do they need it

PenisWenisGenius,

They need it for anal reaaons

hanrahan,
@hanrahan@slrpnk.net avatar

If they’re looking for a nice long butt fucking, why not an enema ?

Excrubulent,
@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net avatar

Based on the answer you got we need to consider that everyone answering has become complicit in, if not crimes, at the very least japery.

Tikiporch,

Sprite and magnesium citrate. A dose takes about 30 minutes to work, so if you dilute it in a 20 ounce bottle it should hit at about the 2 hour mark depending on how your body reacts.

real_ted_yogurt,
@real_ted_yogurt@lemmy.world avatar

This is the stuff to use, but I don’t think diluting will work like this. I recommend taking it, with a bit of sprite 30 minutes before showtime.

Stay hydrated!

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

Hopefully the shortage isn’t still going on. There was a huge shortage a couple years ago and I couldn’t get it anywhere. Had to resort to an enema to prep for my surgery.

Tikiporch,

My local Walmart has it for $1.47 in grape, cherry, and lemon. Looks like Walgreens has it too!

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

Don’t get the lemon. It’s way too strong of a flavor lmao

hactar42,

I lost 7.5 lbs in one night due to that stuff. I went to the doctor because I kept having diarrhea. Turns out I was so constipated the only thing that could make its way out was liquid. I drank a bottle of that stuff and 45 minutes later…well…you know that one scene from Dumb and Dumber? Yeah, that was me for like an hour and half straight.

simplejack,
@simplejack@lemmy.world avatar

This is easy. Google “miralax colonoscopy prep solution”

Enjoy!

Plum,
@Plum@lemmy.world avatar

Salt water flush. You will shit continuously for two hours as your body tries to rid you of a dangerous amount of salt.

snooggums,
@snooggums@midwest.social avatar

During this window, farts are lies!

HootinNHollerin,

Am Crawfish, can confirm

DigitalDruid, (edited )

deleted_by_author

    •
    Tikiporch,

    Holy shit, that ratio

    Plum,
    @Plum@lemmy.world avatar

    The jar says add 1tsp to 8 oz water.

    A liter is 33.8 fl.oz.

    33.8 oz ÷ 8 oz = 4.2 tsp.

    Half a cup is 24 tsp.

    This is too many.

    kindenough,

    You should ask Ted Nugent, he is an expert

    Anti_Iridium, (edited )

    I’m very glad that him being a pants shitting draft dodger, and later bragging about how great of a special forces guy he would have been is general knowledge.

    kindenough,

    Heh, a worldwide known fact. I am Dutch but when I read 'shit + pants' the answer always be that crusty pants mf.

    Omgboom,

    Is there a taco bell near you?

    answersplease77,

    he said 2 hrs not 2 minutes

    scytale,

    Eat a bag of sugar-free gummy bears or a half gallon of sugar-free ice cream. Another option as one other comment mentioned are those unregulated asian slimming teas that have questionable ingredients. The safest and most practical solution is a laxative used for colonoscopy prep.

    Agent641,

    Sugar free gummy bears will make you shit your pants in 2 hours. And in 3 hours. And in 4 hours. Etc.

    FeelzGoodMan420,

    Just take laxatives 30 minutes prior to needing to shit your pants?

    iAvicenna,
    @iAvicenna@lemmy.world avatar

    are you trying to get someone to break off with you?

    nifty,
    @nifty@lemmy.world avatar

    Improperly cooked eggs or chicken can help

    cordlesslamp,

    Depends on where you live, that could literally kill you. Salmonella are no joke.

    over_clox,

    100% Salmonella ain’t no joke!

    Very potentially deadly! I’ve had it once, got lucky and only went half crazy and bleeding a bit from the inside and out…

    cordlesslamp,

    Got food poisoning from an undercooked egg last week. Literally became a human fountain on BOTH ENDS, at the SAME TIME!! Never felt so… empty inside, literally.

    Thanks God it’s not salmonella even though it dragged me halfway to hell. If salmonella is worse than that, I wouldn’t wish it for my worst enemies.

    TokenBoomer,

    RemindMe! 6 hours “reply to this thread”

    NightAuthor,

    You asked for a reminder to: reply to this thread

    TokenBoomer,

    Thanks. Try mineral oil.

    NightAuthor,

    Orally, anally, both?

    TokenBoomer,

    Orally. It can take 6 hours for a bowel movement.

    AtariDump,

    I hope that stupid bot doesn’t exist here

    Glifted,

    There’s this stuff they give you before a colonoscopy. I don’t know what it’s called but it will get the job done

    VaultBoyNewVegas,

    Movieprep or kleenprep. I’ve had both and one definitely worked for me and the other only kicked in the morning off my endoscopy.

    papalonian,

    There’s these which are prescription only, but you can also down a bottle of magnesium citrate as an OTC alternative.

    Quetzalcutlass,

    And as a bonus, the taste of magnesium citrate doesn’t make you gag like the prescription stuff.

    lefty7283,
    @lefty7283@lemmy.world avatar

    Good ol magnesium shit-rate

    taiyang,

    I initially misread the question as, if I was to shit my pants in 2 to 6 hours, how/where should I do it. Optimally, for maximum impact, probably on TV at a major event.

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