‘Dear Lord Baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the South call you: ‘Hey-suz’. We thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family: my two beautiful, beautiful, handsome striking sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And, of course, my red hot smokin’ wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox, who if you would rate her ass on 100, it would easily be a 94. I also want to thank you for my best friend and teammate, Cal Naughton Jr, who’s got my back no matter what…Dear Lord Baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife’s father Chip. We hope that you can use your Baby Jesus powers to heal him and his horrible leg. It smells terrible and the dogs are always botherin’ with it. Dear Tiny Infant Jesus…’
Like, I saw the second biggest Buddha statue just in Japan and it was taller than that.
And Buddha is just a fat guy smiling at you like he knows he sold people on his bullshit for thousands of years and is living it, not nearly as deserving of a tall statue as creepy baby jesus
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