Conservatives on Facebook absolutely believe this.
Suavevillain, 
This got me laughing so hard.
JusticeForPorygon, 
Might be the best shitpost I’ve ever seen.
BonesOfTheMoon, Then she pulls a guy with a MAGA hat out of the crowd and pegs him on stage.
kurwa, They’d probably like that
BonesOfTheMoon, It’s all they really want in life.
Son_of_dad, Let’s just put up wrestling quotes but replace the names with Taylor Swift
eran_morad, “Conservatives” are dumber than dogshit.
BonesOfTheMoon, So, so dumb. It’s like talking to a bag of hammers.
n3m37h, Sharp as a rubber mallet
Vespair, Bro I was there at the Phoenix arena when she actually punched her hand straight through dude’s chest and out the other side of his body.
Straight up the best concert experience of my life
havokdj, FATALITY!!!
TAYLOR, WINS
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot, She’s got a blank space on her hit-list and she’ll write your name.
havokdj, Taylor swift? More liek Taylor Yagami
SendMePhotos, Does she ever do the Indiana Jones heart thing? DAHLI MAHHH
Brickhead92, Nah, that’s tame as hell compared to what Taylor has in store for the next sound guy
cannibalkitteh, What mics does the sound guy use to really capture the sternum punch?
phant, I hear they permanently implanted a contact mic in her nuckles so the audience can feel like they are the sternum itself.
ares35, 
sign me up! getting decked by taylor swift on stage would be an epic way to get my '15 minutes' in.
EnderMB, Oh man, that’s nothing. Did you know that during her song Style she takes a random man from the crowd, assigns them new pronouns, and transitions them into a femboy?
Blackmist, She turned me into a newt!
jaemo, Clearly you got better though…
havokdj, Taylor swift confirmed to be made of wood
chuckleslord, A newt‽
toiletobserver, I got better…
Fungah, What’s the average speed of an unladen Taylor Swift?
AtariDump, African or European?
superduperenigma, Brb, buying front row tickets to every single Taylor Swift concert.
RGB3x3, Surely “The Man” would be a better song for that.
Gruntyfish, I was so disappointed at the concert I went to. Instead of the sternum punch, she pushed a homeless person down a flight of stairs.
Imgonnatrythis, Are you trying to make the Republicans like her? Because this is how you make the Republicans like her.
Joejoebinkz1,
Carvex, She hasn’t had only 70k fans at any show this year. Most stadiums are well over 100k, plus 20k more people dancing in the parking lot, that’s how you know this is fake.
4am, Oh, was THAT the giveaway? Not the fact that Taylor doesn’t have “sound guys” she just has Apple’s cloud do all the work? They really are talking over the world, what do we have to do to get back to SIMPLER TIMES
1984, 
Why do we care what Taylor Swift says…
MxM111, 
Who “we”? Conservatives?
1984, No, people. What makes her worth listening to?
She makes music. :)
I don’t get the celebrity thing I guess.
Bipta, She's reached a level of popularity where her super fans, people listen to her opinions, are a significant number of people.
Also the news just loves to talk about her.
1984, Yep that’s how it works. The news and media talks a lot about some artist, so both the artist and the media companies make bank.
But im still surprised she just came out of nowhere like this.
DrFuggles, (edited ) “Out of nowhere” he says while her albums have consistently reached peak charting positions globally for the past ten years:
ForestOrca, 
Years Active: 2004 to present - 20 years of work, "out of nowhere". I don't really care either, but the facts say this is a significant musical career. And she doesn't seem to be slowing down. 14 albums, 14 films, 6 major tours, you can add up the live performances for yourself (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Taylor_Swift_live_performances).
irmoz, I’m not even close to a Taylor Swift fan, and I’ve been aware of her since about 2010…
Out of nowhere? Where is this rock you’ve been under?
dipshit, When you close your eyes, does the world vanish?
GladiusB, 
Did you even read the text?
1984, No :)
GladiusB, Try that next time
IanAtCambio, I punch my chest and it …. It disappear into the crowd!
ArbitraryValue, (edited ) Your options are “a powerful blow from the fist of Taylor Swift” or “never even getting close to Taylor Swift”. Which do you choose?
Damage, It strictly depends on what the pay’s like
MxM111, It depends on what you mean by blow.
ArbitraryValue, I will note that the sort of blow you have in mind cannot be performed with only the hands. Regardless of that, whichever sort of blow you receive will leave you writhing in pain.
BarrelAgedBoredom, Id chance it
kellyaster, 
I choose: c) "Taylor Swift off the top rope with a steel chair! There's blood everywhere!! By gawd, would somebody stop the damn match!"
Daft_ish, She’s a king maker. The person who takes a chair from taylor swift off the top of the ropes. Instant celebrity.
ReplicantBatty, I prefer d) “Taylor Swift throws me off Hell In A Cell and i plummet 16 ft through an announcer’s table”
gazter, It’s ok. We all know you secretly want sweet little Taylor to beat you with jumper cables.
ReplicantBatty, Just like my dad used to do!
pimento64, I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass just to hear Taylor Swift fart through a walkie-talkie.
EnderMB, Just the single blow? If I pay extra, can she kick the shit out of me behind a McDonald’s car park?
smuuthbrane, 
Oh FFS, don’t just randomly post shit you see on Facebook.
It’s the road manager, and she literally kicks him in the ass, hard enough that he falls down.
BonesOfTheMoon, Ahahahahah
Wogi, I was at her last concert it was definitely a random roadie, and she just slapped him in the face, after which he begged for more.
Daft_ish, As. Did. We. All.
usualsuspect191, Is the road manager big and fat?
smuuthbrane, He’s the one that blocks the door when the tax collector comes by!
4am, Other posters here are saying it’s a homeless person which is disgustingly roadiphobic. Probably reverse CRT white racism too. And farther more is likely a HIPPO violation since we know his medical history since we saw him get injured.
She should get the book thrown at her.
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