Skates,

I’ll take the uranium. It doesn’t matter what I blow up with it, the butterfly effect will mean the rest of the world is changed forever. Because fuck you, you should’ve asked before sending people to the medieval era.

I_Has_A_Hat,

How would you blow it up? Do you have the technical knowledge to actually do anything with it?

100_kg_90_de_belin,

I would hit it really hard with a sledgehammer. It worked for Mr Burns’ father https://feddit.it/pictrs/image/1b7f88c9-fc49-4eed-a242-79910e7db99c.webm

jol,

That’d not how it works

GladiusB,
@GladiusB@lemmy.world avatar

Because that’s how time travel works too

Agent641,

Ruin all that precious pre-1945 steel.

pregnantwithrage,

Spices and the bic/rockets. Spices for trading and light to light alone is going to help barter and survive but the rockets for defence

BenM2023,
@BenM2023@lemmy.world avatar

Thing with the spices is that medieval spices were much more varied than the few commonly available today - many are now out of fashion (cubebs, long pepper, though that is gaining traction, grains of paradise etc.).

I suspect the reason many have dropped out of use is down to suppliers not really wanting to bother and the similarities in flavour profile mean the the common ones are good/close enough.

The medieval cook would, however, be fascinated by the containers - screw top and air tight. If you could work out a way of making those…

3rdwrldbathhaus,

The moog and the weed pen. I’ll travel the countryside showing people analog synthesis and getting them mega high (they have medieval tolerance levels) until those 5 carts run out

THE_MORTAL,
@THE_MORTAL@lemmy.today avatar

Bullets and gun

tiredofsametab,

motorcycle and spices. The motorcycle can be broken down for many useful parts with good-quality metal.

kemsat,

These are all terrible options.

Agent641,

I choose the bottle rockets twice.

Hubi,

That’s the most reasonable choice imo, you could probably earn a fair bit of money with those.

fine_sandy_bottom,

I think that’s the point.

BeigeAgenda, (edited )
@BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca avatar

I’ll exchange all that for:

  • Good knife and a sharpening stone
  • Flint for making fire
  • Compass
  • Axe
  • Several years of training in self defense and living off the land. (Or else they should send a Navy seal)

Edit: Ah it’s a shit post, I always get those wrong 😁

Rinn,

The spices are pretty good - great, portable money source that won’t get you killed for being a witch. Everything else sucks.

auzas_1337,

Well ACTSHUALLY, depending on your definition of the middle ages, you wouldn’t be very likely to be killed for being a witch, since the witch hunt came into being after the Reneissance.

That said, I would also take the spices. The amount of spices in that picture would probably set me up for life. Buy a nice place somewhere in Northern Italy and live out my days learning to play the moog, amusing my medieval friends.

Hobo, (edited )

Motorcycle isn’t abad choice. You get an alternator and a battery out if the deal. You can rig up a simple water turbine to charge it easily enough. You also get a bunch of steel, rubber/plastics, some wire, tubes, and a couple of pretty good lightbulbs (possibly even an LED one depending on the headlight/taillight). Taking the magic Moog as the 2nd option seems like the best idea considering it’s magic.

kemsat,

Sure, but they’re terrible options because of how dumb people used to be. Like, you’d probably have to keep it secret or get called a witch or something.

Something I think would be more useful would be seeds for crops, specifically resistant to plant diseases that would have been devastating back then. Like, take some potatoes that are resistant to whatever caused the Irish famine. That wouldn’t be as likely to get you burned at the stake for being in service to the devil

Drivebyhaiku,

You might have some issues with potatoes in the medieval period. The Irish potato famine happened because potatoes radically changed the amount of calories you could grow on a set peice of land. The population spiked and crashed because of land efficiency dependancy over the course of years but that all happened well past the medieval period that was more the Industrial Revolution.

The potato was not really a thing in the medieval period. They started showing up in the Renaissance as a curiosity from the new world and took a long time to actually take off since they were very unpopular as a food… Like strangely unpopular. They actually started gaining popularity first as a decorative plant.

Mind you they are dead easy to grow so if your intention is to farm them for personal use for food security they are a solid pick. Still since they are something nobody around you would have seen before you would probably need to construct an adequate lie about how you got them.

Thief_of_Crows,

The potato famine happened because Britain stole all of Ireland’s potato’s. There were ships full of potatoes leaving Ireland regularly. There was no actual issue with growing food, except that potatoes were too cheap for the capitalists to profit off ofby selling them back to the Irish.

Drivebyhaiku, (edited )

Well… No. It’s more complicated than that. The Irish potato famine happened because the lack of genetic diversity in the crop and a wet humid year caused a massive viral collapse ( scientific name for the blight :Phytophthora infestans) which caused the crop to turn to sludge in the ground. The effect wasn’t limited to Ireland, big chunks of England, Wales and Scotland also had the crop collapse… The fact it was so deadly though and why we call it the “Irish Potato famine” and not the British / Irish /Welsh and Scottish Potato Famine ", that was mostly capitalist bullshitery. There was a lesser known " Highland Potato Famine " but Scotland got away mostly unscathed by comparison by basically holding landlords highly to account for famine relief early and received greater charitable relief due to better solidarity between Scotland and England.

The flashpoint was all caused by the fact potatoes grow in much poorer soil than other crops the population which had seen an overall increase due to the caloric production increase. Basically the population rose because of production of the crop and then saw massive hardship because the crop when it failed could not be easily replaced by sowing other alternative crops. The viral collapse of the potato crop lasted practically a decade. If it was simply the matter of one bad year the supply and storage of other food stuffs would have softened the impact and they would have recovered over the next couple of years while they sowed other crops like they were used to doing when other crops failed… but the land literally couldn’t support other crops because the soil was way too poor. It was potatoes or bust and the potatoes were damn near impossible to propagate unless you were lucky and your tiny potato patch was properly isolated… Which most people’s weren’t.

Other crops like cereal grains (including some of the less popular ones like millet and corn) were bought up in bulk and imported by the British back to England but they basically diverted everything they could from Ireland early and once they had secured a sustained cereal grain supply to England from the colonies they never distributed anything back to Ireland despite the ongoing humanitarian crisis. The British were bastards who actively and “passively” contributed to the famine deaths via tremendous greed… But the potato crop failure was real and there were more than a few extra steps in the plot that was more about grain import/exports to make up for the shortfall than moving potatoes around… Because the potatoes were basically just rotted slime.

banichan,
@banichan@lemmy.world avatar

Magic is real? Fuck, just use magic!

Mac,

A TW200. 🤩
Solid choice to take with. I want one but they’re simply not practical for me. :/

Vampiric_Luma,
@Vampiric_Luma@lemmy.ca avatar

dab pen and the warheads, please.

I’ll get wicked high and make people eat them for my amusement. They’ll be soooo wrecked.

RIP_Cheems, (edited )
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

That tab of lsd. Somehow get to the king, tell him I’ve found a way to talk to God, give him the tab, and let the rest happen.

ReplicantBatty,

Pretty sure this has already happened at least a few times already lol

feedum_sneedson,

It’s not enough!

Lazylazycat,

They had psychedelics in medieval times. Mushrooms, ergot, etc.

niktemadur,

And LSD comes from a fungus that grows on wheat, which is ergot. But the thing is that distilling that psychedelic compound from ergot produces a substance more powerful by an order of magnitude.

Even better, imagine giving that king some DMT! That’ll fuck his shit right up. He gonna see angels in their biblical form ‘n’ shit!

frickineh,

I mean, is it permanent or do I have a plan for getting back to now? If it’s permanent, the gun and bullets because fuuuuck that. I’m not living in medieval times as a woman. Even if pretty much all of history wasn’t a horror show for women, I have like, zero useful skills and I’m pretty sure I’d only understand about half of what people were saying because Old and Middle English were a total suckfest (and that’s if I didn’t end up somewhere they spoke fucking French or some shit).

If I’m just there for tourism, none of it. I’m not trying to get burned for witchcraft while I’m sightseeing.

Zoidsberg,
@Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca avatar

The language thing is a good point. Am I in 1000CE North America? Because I can fumble my way through French, but absolutely cannot speak Siouan.

pressanykeynow,

I’d only understand about half of what people were saying because Old and Middle English were a total suckfest

So kind of like modern England

FlaccidJim,

5x bullets for the gun, but that is a 1911 chambered for .45 ACP, and those are .22 LRs. I mean, you could try, but it wouldn’t work very well.

nxdefiant,

Those might be .38 specials, but your point stands.

SadSadSatellite,

I would like a gun, but not that gun. Gunpowder has been around a long time. Something simple and robust with a long barrel like a mosin could be modified to work as a rifled flintlock if cased ammunition is too hard to replicate. People made some pretty intricate metalwork though, if you happen to be in a place near a jeweler, you might be able to get some cases made.

Maybe have a blacksmith reverse engineer a rifle, get some folks behind you and overthrow some lords. Kill the old money, set up a government for the people, keep manufacturing as many simple rifles as possible, sail to america and give them to the natives and tell them to shoot at boats before they get too close.

Problem is, I don’t speak any of the useful languages. So maybe the Moog and ten bottles of cinnamon would be better. At least I could entertain myself until I die of dysentery.

Motorcycle and Moog. The motorcycle will take me to a forest, and then the parts can be useful for making sharp stuff or tying things or starting fires and I’ll just camp forever and play rad tunes. Make a cart with the motorcycle wheels to carry animals or foraged supplies, build a cabin and just tinker forever.

Might get lonely out there. Should probably try to pick up chicks before my hog runs outta crank.

Edit: wait how do I carry a keyboard on a motorcycle

GhostFence,

Maybe have a blacksmith reverse engineer a rifle, get some folks behind you and overthrow some lords. Kill the old money, set up a government for the people, keep manufacturing as many simple rifles as possible, sail to america and give them to the natives and tell them to shoot at boats before they get too close.

Freaking epic. Make sure the Taino get them first. That’ll stop the whole Atlantic slave trade before it starts!

jawsua,

How do you carry a keyboard on a motorcycle? With a shoulder strap and turn it into a keytar. Immediately 200x more cool

andrew_bidlaw,

Pneumatic (air) guns can be hard hitters without any black powder. You can load them with self-made particles. I’d better prefer them than standard guns, even old ones.

sangriaferret,

The Moog and the LSD. You’re fucked no matter how you look at it but at least you can have a bitchin time until they burn you for being a witch.

TheControlled,

That was my choice too. Sounds hella fun, and the locals won’t care that I suck because they don’t understand modern music composition, and I won’t give a fuck either because I’m high off my tits!

wise_pancake,

Probably the spices and uranium.

Spices have always been valuable, and I’d “curse” the nobility with the yellow cake and anyone else who bothered me.

Maybe they’d execute me horribly for witchcraft, or maybe I could retire and live a more peaceful life than my current one.

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