Don’t take this lightly, friends. I was already rounded up by the LGBTQ-agenda and dragged to Quantico for questioning by drag queens and people who identified as cats. There was literally a litter box in the corner of the interrogation room. A bit awkward, really.
Then they beat me up and made me kiss men while they oiled me up for a sensual massage. The horrors!
I finally ratted on a few friends who are straight and they let me go so long as I promised to suck dick from now on. It’s gonna be tough telling my partner she has to move out eleven months of the year, but I can’t go back. My apt is now painted in rainbows for safety. Surely, they won’t black-bag me and disappear me when they see that, right? Can night vision goggles make out the colors of the rainbow? They can’t? Oh, shit…
^^ This was all /s, of course.
Happy pride month, everybody! Let’s throw it in their bigoted faces.
Listen, the cat people, they are not with us. I mean, it’s not as bad and when they try to push pedophiles into our group, sure. The cat people are mostly harmless. But still, I must stress, the cat-identifying people are not allowed in the alphabet.
Its true, I spent many nights undercover in gay bars, trying to identify homosexual men by whether or not they moaned when I sucked their dicks in the bathroom stall.
I know it’s a shit post, but for anyone not aware the FBI used to assist in the persecution of lgbt people and engage in all sorts of surveillance including infiltrating lgbt rights organizations.
Add comment