I’m that guy. I’m the one that rarely likes to be around their family. Always drama, always finger pointing, and always me having to defuse the situation. Feels like work.
Oh, I’m that aunt. My family sucks. But my niece contacted me yesterday since I’m moving to where I grew up. I know my fam is a bunch of asshats and she asked me if I could take her to a concert. My idiot sister would not allow her to go. I asked my niece which bands she would you like to see and immediately booked 4 tickets for those and another 2 for Moon Hooch. Fuck people who don’t allow you listening to music.
I’m having that problem with my niece now, she thinks Pokemon are cool. She’s not allowed to play the games or watch the show because my brother thinks they’re satanic.
That’s me! I love my little nephews but the siblings are so toxic. All they do is tear people down and I stopped caring around the time my brother made a pass at my girlfriend and my sister started cheating on her husband.
I began keeping my family at arm’s length after they bullied me to tears after I’d told my sister I thought she was quick to jump to conclusions. I couldn’t believe the logical jumps she was making after I’d said it, and furthermore that no one took my side, and further furthermore that they just kept at it until I cried and didn’t comfort me at all. It’s an emotionally complex position to be in!
My whole family is this way. For the most part we all recognize that you can live your life and not communicate every day, week, or month and still be okay with a person. We are great at picking up where we left off we just all have our own lives and that’s okay.
It still feels strange to me when friends contact their parents daily or weekly and say their parents etc. Get upset for not contacting them frequently enough. I understand that’s the way their relationship works but maybe my family is the odd duck Lmao
That’s great you can have that dynamic with your family and that it’s healthy for all of you. I feel like it’s healthy for me, but my own fam is in the category of “getting upset for not contacting them frequently enough”. It’s like they take it personally that I can live my life but not need to be up to date on every moment of theirs.
That said, I’ve found that the only progress I’ve made is by beginning to draw boundaries and trying to be consistent at keeping them. It’s not a wonderful dynamic, but more distance has certainly made it healthier for me.
There’s a balance, and it’ll be different for every family. Mine has gone years with no contact, while my partner is in the weekly camp. As time has gone on I’ve become jealous of her and her relationship to family, and wish I had something at least a little bit closer to that with mine.
But we were all so busy with our own lives that we drifted apart, only more recently coming together now that all the kids are middle aged.
It’s kind of surreal getting to know someone you grew up with, and seeing how we’re all so different.
for me, it’s seeing how similar we are. I went low contact and moved away almost 20 years ago. getting to know my now-transmasc brother when we’re both adults is wild. he’s dealt with things differently, but despite 8 years age gap and 18 years not talking, we have a lot in common still.
I dunno, that aunt and uncle keep their distance because they’re hard republicans and my family are all at the most conservative capable of existing in a socialist space without fearing being struck down by God
I don’t see myself suddenly becoming only barely not so right wing that it’s only a question if I’m voting for Trump
My parents made the choice to live farther from the rest of the clan 20 years ago and it was a good decision. Today, everyone over there is at each other’s throats or not on speaking terms. Us on the otherhand, they all love us. Not because we’re great or anything, but because we have zero drama with anyone.
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