MadBob

@MadBob@feddit.nl

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I didn't know where else to ask rule (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

How do you shave your balls? Every time I’ve tried with my trimmer it pinches and tears my sack and I’m too traumatized to try it again unless there’s a full proof bloodless method. Usually I just pluck as many as I can tolerate while I’m sitting around watching YouTube or somethin. But it’s such a pain (literally)....

MadBob,

I’ve had to do it twice in my life, and I cut the hair with scissors first then used a cheap razor much like these: voordeeldrogisterij.nl/premium-laser-twin-wegwerp… Came off painlessly.

MadBob,

Undergoing severe semantic satiation here lads.

MadBob,

I’m fairly good at thinking up insulting nicknames, but I only ever give them to people above me in the work hierarchy. A boss where I currently work is called Jan, and he’s always fucking whinging about one thing or another, so I call him Jankerd (crybaby). A boss I had last year was called Onno, and he was fucking disorganised, so I called him Onnoverzichtelijk (disorganised). One of the managers there was a fucking idiot but he always walked around like the cock of the walk, so I called him Schaakduif (chess pigeon). His name was Abel so I’d also call him Incapabel. There was a lad there called Pepijn who I called Hoofdpijn (headache) for a laugh once or twice. You have to make your fun where you can, sometimes.

MadBob,

I was born in northern England in the early 90s, and I can only eyeball in imperial units, even though I now live in a country where they only use metric (and Beaufort).

MadBob,

I believe the barrel gets very hot upon firing!

MadBob,

If nobody says nothing then everyone’s saying something.

MadBob,

I was wondering when the gay would frog the seminar.

MadBob,

This is exactly the sort of thing he’d do if given access to a time machine.

MadBob,

Odd that so many people are coming out the woodwork to say they didn’t know Britons fairly often call women birds.

MadBob,

Your face made the wrong call switching places with your arse. Sorry, didn’t mean it.

MadBob,

How are you saying Amadeus so that the “ama” is different from that in “amateurs”?

MadBob,

There’s a game called Heart & Slash which is very charming and has a soulslike streak to it. It’s quite hard to beat in totality but it’s enough fun that you don’t mind clawing your way to the end.

MadBob,

There are stations on Anglesey where you have to stick your arm out to hail the train, and the only two routes they lie on are served by the kind of 1970s DMU like you mentioned on its way to Chester or a Pendelino on its way to London or something.

MadBob,

This is what one of the stations looks like:

https://feddit.nl/pictrs/image/4afd2d6a-d66a-4426-be41-31013dcabf7d.jpeg

MadBob,

16.6r% is one sixth. 👍

MadBob,

Riled up? Are you sure?

MadBob,

Time makes fools of us all I suppose!

MadBob,

Looks like he’s in hard mode.

MadBob,

I think you’re overthinking it. The first thing you’re told when you learn algebra is that a letter represents a number and you can say “let a equal (number), b equal (number)…” so you can let pi equal whatever you want for the purposes of one simple problem.

MadBob,

Well I suppose for example rounding to the nearest integer is a method of implying “let 1.8 = 2”, no? Not too outlandish, I don’t think.

MadBob,

But I suppose part of solving a maths problem is staying within the confines of the question and listening to instructions, so if someone says “using pi equals 5”, I’d just use pi equals five and take my point with grace.

MadBob,

There’s a company near me with a product called “Damn, Daniel” and I refuse to buy it, look at it, recommend it, or discuss it with anything less than disdain.

MadBob,

I began keeping my family at arm’s length after they bullied me to tears after I’d told my sister I thought she was quick to jump to conclusions. I couldn’t believe the logical jumps she was making after I’d said it, and furthermore that no one took my side, and further furthermore that they just kept at it until I cried and didn’t comfort me at all. It’s an emotionally complex position to be in!

MadBob,

Ha, must be free then! (dad face)

MadBob,

Sorry, what’s this have to do with Christian values? I don’t see the connection.

MadBob,

Laura Kuenssberg is a tory lapdog. Thought I’d just say.

MadBob,

Thought I’d just say.

MadBob,

I see that’s a fork of Openboard, which I have, but I don’t really use it because it keeps suggesting American spellings (sometimes alongside British spellings), and my thumbs are too mighty to use a mobile phone keyboard without the suggestions. Would you happen to know if Heliboard fixes this?

MadBob,

I’m convinced!

MadBob,

Oh him? He’s not a driver.

MadBob,

I didn’t realise Chris (Simpsons Artist) was still going. Or is this not recent?

MadBob,

I fucking love it when a dog looks to the side and you can see the whites of its eyes. So much character.

MadBob,

If you disagreed with killing animals for meat to begin with, you’d find this a very bizarre statement. It’s like saying we should use human teeth as a building material because it reduces waste from police violence.

MadBob,

But you don’t have to eat meat or wear leather, and the current system relies on supply and demand.

MadBob,

That sounds like an extremely posh nickname.

MadBob,

You can say anything you fucking want in either context.

MadBob,

You could also say, for instance, “I believe the autumn’s coming in late this year”, and what’s he going to do? Stop you?

MadBob,

Fair fucks to you, but I don’t think the following-with-a-trumpet meme is the right medium for that kind of nuanced message.

MadBob,

“Ashleigh” is normal too and not a part of this modern spelling trend. For example, this one was born in 1912: olympics.com/en/athletes/ashleigh-gordon-pilbrow

MadBob,

Trinity’s a common enough Christian name!

MadBob,

Those people are actually less than two foot tall.

otl, to privacy
@otl@hachyderm.io avatar

Finally deleted my LinkedIn account!

After putting my account into "hibernation" for the past few weeks, I finally closed it. But I'm still looking for work. Thankfully I can still find positions (SRE and software dev) by just going directly to the company's site and finding a Jobs page.

Good luck to everyone else out there looking for work!

@privacy

MadBob,

running CV

Little bit off-topic and nitpicky, but a CV is by nature a running thing. The name even comes from a Latin word for “run”.

MadBob,

It also seems like they want someone to reply “*fiancé” so people can reply in turn like “out of all the problems you could have with this story…”

MadBob,

Best of luck to you getting anyone with this joke on this website.

MadBob,

I don’t follow the footy but I understood that it was ironic in some way!

MadBob,

Wonder no longer: en.wiktionary.org/wiki/…/þekuz

MadBob,

It’s good that you mindfully reduce meat intake and at least think about it, and I’m not trying to force you to do anything, but the logic here doesn’t follow. You could equally say “everything in this world has nuance and can never be binary (so this can’t be binary)”.

Do you know the idea of a kind slavemaster? Namely: if someone told me they only buy products of slavery if they’re made by slaves with kind masters, I’d be a bit baffled and I’d say “but it’s still slavery isn’t it?” There’s basically nothing worse you can do for something’s welfare than having it destroyed, no? Barring edge cases where you’re putting something out of its misery (definitely not the case when making animals into hamburgers).

MadBob,

All along!

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