I don’t quite think Noem got the memo. Only Donald Trump is allowed to do whatever he wants and be cheered for it by the base. This privilege does not extend to the people who continue to kiss his ass.
I want you to be correct, but I still feel like they’re testing the waters with her. They just want libs to cry at this point. It’s their raison d’être.
Kristi. Please don’t tell them this story. No one liked hearing it at the last 20 thanksgivings and no one is going to like hearing it now. As your publicist, I beg-
We live in a world that has dogs. And those dogs need to be trained to not ruin fowl-hunting. Who’s gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for my untrained puppy that ate a chicken. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know; that I didn’t train my dog, was trigger-happy, and wanted to impress my neighbors like a big girl.
Oh my God, please stop talking. I really don’t like where this story is going…
I did the job I…
Please don’t tell me you shot your puppy because you neglected its training and then put it into some intense situations.
The kicker for me was that they are bought, but seldom read. Nobody is going to read about killing a puppy, but we all know it’s in there, so it’s put on a shelf as a statement (much as the book itself is more of a shoddily-written ghostwritten statement than anything else — perhaps “I can read”).
I think 90% of politicians’ books are bought in bulk by lobbyist organizations that want to curry favor with them (or are basically party orgs like Heritage or Center for American Progress). At best, they give them away at conferences or send them to donors. I wouldn’t be shocked if the Heritage Foundation basement is half full of dogshit books by potential president/VP candidates.
In other words, they produced a typical pre-campaign book, where the first rule is to do no harm. Somewhat unusually for the genre, that book, 2022’s Not My First Rodeo: Lessons from the Heartland, landed the South Dakota governor on the New York Times’ bestseller list, adding to the consensus that the Donald Trump devotee had a big future in GOP politics.
What it didn’t do, of course, was spark a weeklong news cycle — and a round of obituaries for that same political future — by including a tale about Noem leading a 14-month-old wirehaired pointer named Cricket to a gravel pit and shooting him to death after he ruined a pheasant hunt and killed a neighbor’s chickens.
This time around, Noem has a different team in place, as well as a different imprint, Hachette’s conservative-leaning Center Street. And the folks behind her new book, No Going Back, didn’t get in the way of sharing memories about gunning down an ill-trained puppy.
Kirsti Noem’s publisher in 2022: “This is a horrible story. We can’t include this, Dick Cheney only got away with his hunting trip scandal because he shot a lawyer and not a puppy.”
Kristi Noem’s new Conservative publisher in 2024: “People will be impressed with how tough you are on puppy crime.”
I do not advocate for violence and would never celebrate somebody’s tragedy. Having said that, if Kristi Noem literally jumped in front of a train I may decide to get an ice cream cake that day.
I do not advocate for violence, but I will absolutely celebrate if someone dedicated to making the world worse and increasing suffering for the sake of their own enrichment is stopped from doing that and I don’t discriminate based on the means of cessation.
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