IDontHavePantsOn

@IDontHavePantsOn@lemm.ee

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IDontHavePantsOn,

Last week we got 18" of snow. 6 days later and it’s 72F. My favorite season is being erased.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Is life

IDontHavePantsOn,

Our dads probably know each other.

IDontHavePantsOn,

The fans revving for 20 seconds and the program opening it’s loading screen: “Nice”.

The fans revving for 5 seconds and the program is sitting at 0% CPU after 1 full minute: “fuck this bullshit.” But you hold onto hope and wait another 5 minutes, and as your confirming to restart the PC the program starts loading, and you have to watch it load entirely before it’s killed by the restart, and the restart takes even longer because the program actually opened.

Or,

You browser is loading homestarrunner.com and the loading bar stops at 10% like it should for 5 minutes, but the 5 minutes passes by, and you click the clock on the task bar only to see your mouse turn into an hourglass.

IDontHavePantsOn,

It’s really good. Haven’t have a flavor from them that isn’t really good.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Tussle their hair, smile and say “sure thing big guy. Want some chocolate milk?” And put your hands on your hips. It will make their day.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Haha! Of course sport! Anything for my big guy. Say, while we’re at it, how about we make a day of it? We can get some burgers and floats, skip some rocks at the lake, and maybe even get you that new Lightning Mcqueen booster seat you’ve been wanting!? This is going to be so much fun bud! We just have to make a quick stop at the town office to renew your SSI information for your…condition…

IDontHavePantsOn,

We want you to grow up to be big and strong!..someday.

IDontHavePantsOn,

I grate my fungus. Don’t like fungus? Liar. You have always loved my fungus.

IDontHavePantsOn,

We all know that the vision pro is a porn machine masquerading as a innovative product. That goes for all VR. The first youtuber to give headset reviews centered around their ability to immerse people into porn is going to be the first channel I didn’t accidentally subscribe to.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Tangentially related, the key and peele sketch about Jaden explains his personality so well I believe it’s essentially a true real life adaptation of a conversation he has had.

IDontHavePantsOn,

He’s busy degassing his hydrogen and oxygen.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Used to see hydrox as a kid but haven’t for a while now. I’ll choose UTZ over any Frito Lay product. I’ll choose Humpty Dumpty over any UTZ product though. People are missing out on the ultimate overly seasoned potato chip.

IDontHavePantsOn,

If you hear “sausage cheddar biscuits” and think, “well that sounds unhealthy!” while clutching your pearls, then you don’t understand what’s going on here.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Your point is stupid because no matter how you make a sausage cheddar biscuit loaf, it’s going to be unhealthy.

Less processed? Yes. More tasty? Maybe. More healthy? No. Easier? No. Faster? No. Cheaper? Negligible.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Your wife, and don’t call me dog.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Let them stew? Only cereal killers do that.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Whatever not your dog, but don’t call me fam.

IDontHavePantsOn,

That is an outrageously long time to wait for a laptop without updates. From the prices I just looked up, it also is outrageously expensive.

I would have sought a refund before now already, but that’s just my opinion.

IDontHavePantsOn,

That’s my excuse in real life too.

IDontHavePantsOn,

1000 forks plus packaging is 4lbs.

250 forks per pound.

Standard forklift capacity is 5000lbs.

250 x 5000 = 1,250,000 forks.

Maybe slightly realistically and safely, due to load height and placement restrictions, let’s just call it between 750,000 and 1,000,0000 forks.

Forks can fork a lot of forks. Fork.

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