@Kolanaki@yiffit.net
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Kolanaki

@Kolanaki@yiffit.net

I’m just a weird, furry, pan guy (cis he/him). I also have a big, blue username.

I’m learning Japanese so sometimes I might write something out in romaji just to practice. Please correct it if it’s wrong!

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Kolanaki,
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Can’t wait to replace my USB thumb drives with crystals.

Kolanaki,
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I had a strHONK trying to read those stickers.

Kolanaki,
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How I play X4:

  1. Start game
  2. Do the tutorial missions until it asks me to find parts to build a bomb
  3. Get frustrated trying to find new places to jump to because the 2 possible stations you have on the map never have the shit you need and exploration fucking sucks
  4. Give up and play X3 instead

It’s a sandbox so you just kinda do what you want with the tools the game gives you. Think of it like the Mount & Blade of space games. The story missions help get you going, but you could totally ignore them. I just have never figured out how to really get around in X4. The layout of the universe is dumb, and finding new sectors is a pain in the ass without having drones or AI ships to do it for you.

Kolanaki,
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You always become the very thing you hate.

Kolanaki,
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My thoughts exactly. That time they had to Weekend At Bernie’s a guy was far from efficient.

Kolanaki,
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Land Quark who?

Kolanaki,
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“What I really want to be surrounded by is coffee, and dead men!”

Kolanaki,
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It’s gonna take twice as long as Starfield all to contain the same jank in an even larger, more barren, world where nothing is interesting and you’re just going through the motions because that’s what Todd Howard thinks games are.

18+ I wish I was Asexual.

Seriously I hate that. I always fantasize about having sex with very attractive women. It really grinds my fuck gears because I know that I will be a virgin forever because prostitution is illegal in Canada. So I unfortunately can not pay a very attractive 18 year old woman to have sex with me. I really wish that I was Asexual...

Kolanaki,
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I mean, you could get neutered. It works for dogs 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki,
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I mean… You gotta be crazy to try and open a gay night club in a place that criminalizes being gay and not expect to be detained or even killed. I get it’s likely a form of protest, I’m just not sure what their desired outcome was.

Kolanaki,
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Works on cybertrucks, too.

Kolanaki,
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The aesthetic and gameplay footage hella reminded me of Return Fire and now I just wish that got a modern remake…

Kolanaki,
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Ah shit… I didn’t get a horga’hn… I got a whore gone. No wonder I ain’t getting any bitches on my dick. And here I was thinking it was just my yee-yee ass haircut. 😩

Kolanaki,
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IDK myself… I’m pretty sure I’m just aromantic or perhaps just another symptom of having BPD (I either hate you or love you; there’s no in-between).

I would have sex with anyone. I can be friends with almost anyone. And I can sure as hell have both someone who has sex with me that’s a friend. What more is there? Dumb gestures instead of just communicating your feelings verbally?

I’ve searched for an explanation of “romantic attraction” that I can actually understand and still don’t know what the hell it really means. So either I don’t experience it, or it’s just not easy to explain. Or I am the dumb. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki,
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辛いお寿司！

Kolanaki,
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imagines torturing Ralph for 500,000 years

Kolanaki,
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I can imagine 500,000 years pretty quickly by imagining it in a montage.

Kolanaki,
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The Punch-Out thread from yesterday just has me wishing Super Punch-Out was a bit harder. It was tough as hell getting through that last championship when I was a kid; but I can easily breeze through the entire game in like an hour or two now because I know the patterns necessary to beat every dude as fast as I possibly can, and they don’t really randomize what they throw at you. It’s like watching a movie you’ve seen a million times.

Kolanaki,
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It’s been a long ass time but I don’t remember the California Raisens looking so fucked up.

Kolanaki,
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Roman Catholic Greco Wrestling?

Kolanaki,
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You’re only a hillbilly if you’re from the Appalachia region of the US, otherwise you’re just a sparkling redneck.

Kolanaki,
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Glendoreena Weenus

🤣

Kolanaki,
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When they say “slay, girl” they mean, like, your enemies. Slay your enemies.

Kolanaki,
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I do not care if he goes “zip, zap, zop,”

I do not like RoboCop.

For the robot I find most divine,

Is ED-209.

Kolanaki,
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The only time I had fun being a healer was when I made a shaman in WoW, and it’s mostly because it was like being a cleric in D&D; a tank that can heal. I would do BGs and invariably wreck fools who thought targeting the healer would be easy. 😈

Kolanaki,
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In the original Team Fortress (and maybe TFC, I don’t really remember) the medic gave people on the other team AIDS if they used their healing pack weapon on them.

deleted_by_author

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    Kolanaki,
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    I only tip if the person I am tipping went above and beyond what was required. I don’t eat at most restaurants (especially corporate owned chains), because they do not pay their employees a decent wage and going to such a restaurant and not tipping does not hurt the business. It only hurts the server. But restaurants aren’t the only places where a service person can go above and beyond what is required of them to deserve a tip.

    And if your place of work has a policy against accepting tips: Fuck them, just keep it on the DL. They sure as fuck ain’t gonna reward you with anything but a pizza party if you go above and beyond your duties.

    Kolanaki,
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    No thanks. The last time I helped someone out of a meme, it was Samara from The Ring.

    Kolanaki,
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    Man… I can’t wait until I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff!

    Kolanaki,
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    God works in mysterious ways.

    Kolanaki,
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    He made angels unsexy

    If that was true, Lot wouldn’t have had to beat off a crowd with his desexing stick and offer up his own daughters to be fucked instead of the angels that came to visit him.

    Kolanaki,
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    True. You’ve basically described me.

    Kolanaki,
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    The stick thing is a reference to this absolute gem.

    Kolanaki,
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    I can’t believe Xbox doesn’t have gyros at this point. Even Nintendo has gyros in their controllers. I haven’t had an Xbox since the 360, so this is actually a surprise to me.

    Kolanaki,
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    It’s superior if you have the option to adjust the sensitivity. In most games that don’t have a sensitivity setting, it’s way too sensitive, so unless you can hold your hands perfectly still your aim is gonna be fucked.

    And since most games don’t have any sensitivity settings for the gyro, I rarely use it.

    Kolanaki,
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    Do not pass go and collect $200.

    Sweet! I’m still over on Baltic Ave. Gimme my $200!

    Kolanaki,
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    https://media.tenor.com/hyZ3wm5naugAAAAM/bongo-cat-button.gif

    Kolanaki,
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    Perfect Dark: Deus Ex

    Kolanaki,
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    Same. Not what I had expected to see for Perfect Dark, but absolutely welcome. I hope it ends up better than the last two Deus Ex games.

    Kolanaki,
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    Have you tried nuts.wad?

    Kolanaki,
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    What the hell do cats look like in your neck of the woods? 🤨

    Kolanaki,
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    OwO

    UwU

    They’re actually face emojis. First is eyes open, second is eyes closed.

    Kolanaki,
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    “Oh my! Word?”

    Kolanaki,
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    It’s the referee signaling that the field goal was good.

    Kolanaki,
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    Me too. I think it’s a side effect of brain rot.

    Kolanaki,
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    Just enough to encircle the thing I want to eliminate/capture. It actually works with a stack, too. Like 8 dudes is enough for the default difficulty most of the time.

    Kolanaki,
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    Clearly it’s a giant duck’s head, complete with the top half of its bill.

    Kolanaki,
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    I was excited when I saw full DualSense support, including adaptive triggers, in the patch notes, but then disappointed when it didn’t work wirelessly. I don’t understand why it doesn’t work over BT on PC; it does on the actual PS5 🤷🏻‍♂️

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