Zozano,
@Zozano@lemy.lol avatar

I’m still waiting for my proposal regarding instant orgasm to be classified as sexual assault regardless of whichever animal it’s cast on.

I don’t care how hard it is to breed Panda’s, we can’t just make them nut on command.

I’m not pointing fingers here, we’ve all made our pets seize on the ground for a good twenty minutes or so while we finish the latest episode of Keeping Up with Prostatulus uninteruppted, but we’ve got to do something to stop the fucking apprentices from doing it for shits and giggles, it’s pretty sick when you stop to think about it.

At a bare minimum limit the orgasms to one minute, and necessitate a bodily fluid retention spell. I’m tired of stepping over the puddles when sneaking out the newbloods quarters.

Uncle_Sheo217,
@Uncle_Sheo217@lemmy.world avatar

Can someone make me nut on command? 🥺

Evil_Shrubbery,

Yes.

Always cast those two the other way around.

Mended cracks full of explosive diarrhoea acts the same as cast fireball but with poison damage.

Wirlocke,

“But council I was merely casting the humble and fun Balloon Animal spell targeting penis

Baroness_Buttslut,
@Baroness_Buttslut@sh.itjust.works avatar

What is wizard hell? Hogwart?

Missmuffet,

Im laughing way too hard at Hogwart (singular)

TotallynotJessica,
@TotallynotJessica@lemmy.world avatar

That’s what JK calls her castle

clay_pidgin,

Hogwarts sounds like an STI, anyway.

LinkOpensChest_wav,
@LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

This is even worse than the time Wizards banned Splinter Twin

Hobbes_Dent,

Maybe if used together, but otherwise this is absurd overreach by the council.

alsaaas,
@alsaaas@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Now I’d like to inquire the wizard convention (lol) on the status of the “testicular torsion” and “ovary obliteration” spells

Missmuffet,
programmer_belch,
@programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

What is the current status of the Shit Pants cast?

Missmuffet,

The Wizard Council (long may they live) has decided that it is fine so long as it isn’t also cast with the Mend Buttcrack spell, as both spells are too destructive when used in tandem. I mean, I see where they’re coming from, but it’s far from the only spells that are strong when cast together, so I think they’re probably just responding to the current Wizard meta tbh (you didn’t hear it from me though).

programmer_belch,
@programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I was scared my best tactic to break a concentration spell will be banned for the following tournaments.

This ban can do nothing against the spiciness spells other casters use before the tournament to harm the body and soul of other contestants.

tenchiken,
programmer_belch,
@programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I’m sure Paul has made a Bene Gesserit soil themselves at least once to discredit them

spoiler for God Emperor of DuneI wouldn’t be surprised if the stolen journals had a recounting of Leto making an entourage of Bene Gesserit shit themselves while in a walk to negate a spice allotment

tenchiken,

Somehow envisioning this made me very happy.

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