Japan’s fertility rate, which has seen a precipitous fall for many years, has reached another record low as the government ramps up efforts to encourage young people to get married and start families — even launching its own dating app....
I could show up, have babies with 100 Japanese women, and then it’s back to America after my 2 week vacation ends.
Japan, all you gotta do is pay for my travel, and lost wages from not being at work. Oh I’ll be at work alright. Working your entire female populace!!! YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
…look, times are tough. Just let me have my fantasy, ok?
YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!! Look at all the Japanese women I get!!!
Wait, on which end of things? Because I’m imagining you as a woman, laying down, knees in stirrups, spread wide with a hospital sheet draped over. And between your legs is a convayer belt. Baby pops out onto the convayer belt, and starts down the line. Then another pops out…and another…and another.
You still use the chick-fil-a napkins to actually clog it. BUT!!! Then you drop like 16 bibles on top of it to fill the toilet bowl to block access to the napkins blocking. They won’t move the bibles because this clogged toilet is now “Gods work”. Which will then cause ALL OF THEM to start intentionally clogging their own toilets with bibles, and make a political issue out of this. Anyone who doesn’t clog their own toilets at home isn’t a REAL American!
And this is the life we live now. I just said some batshit crazy bullshit, which SHOULD BE taken as being completely absurd, but life is now absurd. So it’s entirely possible that what I said actually is the natural logical set of proceeding events to follow.
God damn I hate 2024. Actually, life since 9/11 hasn’t been all that great. Can we go back to having a normal life ever??? PLEASE???
A federal judge ordered former Trump White House aide Steve Bannon to report to jail by July 1 to begin serving a four-month sentence for his contempt of Congress conviction....
I agree with the spirit of your statement, but you need to find a new harmless thing to use as the example of going to jail. That USED TO BE the gold standard for that comment, but now it’s subject to location. And at this point, I think it’s something like 26 states + DC are fully legal. So over half the country that comment doesn’t work for.
But, I still agree with the overall spirit of your comment.
Oh. Yeah. You need to leave Texas. It’s legal here in Ohio. Texas is just…I won’t say the “worst”, because Florida also exists, but…yeah. You need to leave. And this is coming from someone living in Ohio.
Oh fuck off. I support Ukraine probably more than the next guy. You can’t just say “hey, the calander reminds us of a good thing the whole world contributed to 80 years ago.” and expect your speech about the event to have the same effect as the event itself 80 years ago.
If you want to help Ukraine, let them strike within russia (which you recently did…2 years late), send troops, send coordinated efforts, allow Ukraine to join Nato.
And don’t think I’m just saying this to Biden. I’m saying it to all of Europe.
You either ACTUALLY provide support that you pledge, or shut the fuck up. We need to get to a point where we say “fuck it” and every nation invade russia, and carve it up. If they use nukes, then everyone uses nukes on them. It would send a message to china too. We’re going to have this same war with them in their efforts with Taiwan. And since covid started, everyone forgot about Hong Kong and their issues with china.
Apperently my grandpa stomped out the nazis, but not facism itself. Round 2.
You say this like I have any reason to fear death. The problem with me being on the front lines, is I’m not fit enough to be on the front lines. But I’d absolutely fly a plane, and drop bombs if I knew how to fly a plane. Or drive a tank if I could. Or maybe be a sniper or some shit.
Either way, yes I would fight, and no I wouldn’t expect to survive…but I can take out 10 of them before they take me out.
I didn’t say I’m not willing. I said I’m not able. Go take a look at pilots survival rates before you say that a pilot is a safer position.
You put me on the front lines, I fall behind the group, hold the rest of the troops back, and best case scenario my troops shoot me dead before I kill a single enemy. Worst case scenario is I get captured instantly. You don’t put someone on the front lines who holds the troops back.
You put me in a position where I don’t have to physically move, and I just go on a killing spree.
The warning from the U.S. and its four closest intellignce partners follows several arrests of U.S. service members for allegedly trying to pass info to China....
This guys over here asking for a blow job from dr phil. The worst part is, afterwards he’s going to ask “Now how did that feel FOR YOU? Are you feelin’ pretty good right about now?”
Maybe I’m underestimating their speed. I just vtcan’t imagine how a single jaguar gets the chance TO bite. I’m just imagining one punch from the silverback, and it’s OVER.
Maybe the jaguar has enough speed to surprise the gorilla, and if they bite the throat maybe thats enough. But I just don’t see the bite ever actually happening.
I’m sooooooooo confused by this story. First off, how is George Clooney authorized to arrest anyone??? Under what authority? And where would arrested convicts be held?
I guess the russia side of the story makes sense from their perspective. State run media, is spewing state run propaganda. That I get. I don’t agree with it, but I understand what is happening.
But I don’t understand how George Clooney is arresting anyone. Can Tom Hanks set up a foundation and arrest people? What would happen if Tucker Carlson moved to russia, and set up a foundation to arrest American reporters?
God dammit…as someone who loves absurd comedy, and has had a grudge with clooney since 2001, don’t make me watch fox news for what sounds like a hilarious feel good onion-esque “news” report. I don’t know where we stand in life anymore. Life feels like satire, so a satire news report is just being presented as real news.
All I know is watching the squaking heads make up fabricated insanity about Clooney sounds like a hilarious watch. This coming from someone who’s never watched any more of fox news than the little bytes they play on the daily show, or John Olivers show. Just clips used for context of their own show.
I was 16, and got out of high school. I used to walk 30 streets, because I didn’t want to ride the bus packed with kids.
So I’m almost at tower city, about 5 streets away, when everything is blocked off, and a crowd blocking everything. I’m trying to get through, but he’s in the alley, that they’ve since renovated and made a trendy spot, but back then it was just a gross alley. He had his trailer in the alley, filming something on the other side.
I’m trying to get through, and it’s just this mob of people, and everytime I say “excuse me” they’re like “WHERE ARE YOU TRYING TO GO??? THATS GEORGE CLOONEY!!!” and I do not care. He had been a massive celebrity by this point.
The whole crowd is facing south where Clooney is, and I’m trying to go west. I get like 25% through this crowd, and Clooney points at me, and a minute later these two guards are now trying to get through the crowd trying to stop me. Difference is, I’m a 200lbs high schooler, and these guards are big buff dudes, like 300lbs. So they were having more difficulty getting through than I was.
I give Clooney the finger, because what the fuck, and he sarcastically waves like the queen of england.
Finally I get through to the other side (what should have been a 20 second walk if nobody was there took 15-20 minutes), and now I got Cleveland police on me. They question why I’m trying to attack Clooney, I tell them I don’t give a fuck about him. I’m trying to get to tower city to catch the red line. They let me go.
But to think Clooney thinks he’s so important that he can just block other people from their daily lives, and try to send cops on you if you’re ignoring him.
And ever since then I’ve had a grudge against him. And yes, I AM attracted to Francine Smith in that 2006 episode of American Dad where she hates him for being (her words) “a self centered smug prick”. I said “So THIS is what it’s like having a boner for a cartoon character!”
That being said, I still don’t see the appeal of those sites that draw cartoon mothers having sex with their cartoon kids…even if you draw them as adults, it’s still weird.
I think this story would be so much funnier if you would have tried to negotiate prostitute rates with Demi Moore, who in turn was confused because her rates for her work were set in stone with contracts and agents. Meanwhile, she doesn’t even know what you’re suggesting.
And while small, almost nonexistant, there IS still the chance that her husband would have gotten involved. At the time? That would be Bruce Willis.
I cannot contain my giggles as I imagine your confusion why Bruce Willis cares what price you pay a prostitute.
How typical (lemmy.world)
Sweden to ban bottom fishing in territorial waters (www.euractiv.com)
Japan’s births just fell to a new record low. Tokyo hopes a dating app can turn that around (www.cnn.com)
Japan’s fertility rate, which has seen a precipitous fall for many years, has reached another record low as the government ramps up efforts to encourage young people to get married and start families — even launching its own dating app....
Companies Targeted For Pride Support Last Year Go Quiet On Social Media In 2024 (www.forbes.com)
Alex Jones agrees to liquidate his assets to pay Sandy Hook families, in move that would end his ownership of Infowars (www.cnn.com)
Happy Pride Everyone! (lemmy.world)
Former Trump aide Steve Bannon ordered to jail by July 1 to serve contempt of Congress sentence (www.cnbc.com)
A federal judge ordered former Trump White House aide Steve Bannon to report to jail by July 1 to begin serving a four-month sentence for his contempt of Congress conviction....
Biden and Macron use D-day event to emphasise support for Ukraine (www.theguardian.com)
Leaders rally behind Zelenskiy to make clear to Putin that, as in 1944, freedom in Europe is worth fighting for...
Diminished Hamas switches to full insurgent mode in Gaza (www.reuters.com)
Hamas fighting force reduced by half - US officials...
US and allies warn China is intensifying its efforts to recruit Western military pilots (www.cnn.com)
The warning from the U.S. and its four closest intellignce partners follows several arrests of U.S. service members for allegedly trying to pass info to China....
Putin says Trump conviction ‘burns’ idea of US as leading democracy (www.theguardian.com)
Mexico’s Political Revolution (www.compactmag.com)
Oceans face ‘triple threat’ of extreme heat, oxygen loss and acidification (www.theguardian.com)
Third of world’s ocean surface particularly vulnerable to threats driven by burning fossil fuel and deforestation, new research finds...
You are being approached with romantic intent (lemmy.world)
The American People (lemmy.world)
Netherlands allows Ukraine to strike Russian territory with its F-16s (newsukraine.rbc.ua)
the GIRTH (lemmy.world)
And then the boss did what (lemmy.world)
🎠🎠🎠 (lemmy.world)
California sheriff quips he’s ‘changing teams,’ urges support for ‘convicted felon’ Trump (nypost.com)
Riverside County Sheriff Bianco has always been a conservative POS. The irony of a cop urging to “put a felon in the White House”.
deleted_by_moderator
Lions are just big cats. They like scratches under the chin and everything. (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
Russia Declares War on ‘Mediocre Actor’ George Clooney (www.thedailybeast.com)
cleveland rules (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
alt text: an image of a fox tugging on the pant leg of someone who is lying on the ground, the text reads “POV. YOU ARE BEING DRAGGED TO OHIO.”