MacNCheezus,
@MacNCheezus@lemmy.today avatar

Cool, that oughta pay for three months’ worth of food and rent in NYC

cupcakezealot,
@cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

damnit db cooper. hide it better next time.

arymandias,

These kinds of articles make sure that the sides of the canals where I used to live, will never be rust free.

tal,
@tal@lemmy.today avatar

nola.com/…/article_2cb32d00-1d3a-11ef-a810-5b1968…

Bayou Bougaloo crowds reveled and splashed in the waterway at the music festival a couple miles south as the fisherman dangled a magnet the size of a hockey puck from a red rope off the Bayou St. John bridge.

He pulled a gun barrel from the bridge’s south side near its center, police said. He also retrieved a handgun on the bridge’s northeast side, near the water’s edge.

Then came a 15-pound dumbbell, tied to a shirt or cloth, which was padlocked around a human skull, police said. That skull was “fully decomposed, lacking a jaw or the top row of teeth,” New Orleans police said.

The NOPD did not immediately respond to questions regarding investigations of any decapitated crime victims.

On the whole, New York sounds like a better place to be magnet fishing than New Orleans.

Jubei_K_08,

What do you do here? I mean besides not tell the fucking media. You call a lawyer immediately?

invertedspear,

You call no one. You buy a safe of your own. You start buying your groceries in two transactions, one with your card like always, the other in cash. Every other time you fill your gas tank you use a little of the cash. Clothes are all cash till that safe is empty. Buy all your gifts from the farmer’s markets or other “street walk” events. Who cares if it’s more than you normally spend, the point is that officially, you bought no gifts. Cash anytime you go out to eat.

Get what you can from Facebook marketplace or Craigslist, but never anything that would mean title or registration. Those all need to come with deductions from bank accounts you can point to. The point is that by “cutting” a bunch of explainable expenses, you can eventually save up for the big spend item and buy that officially.

doodledup,

You have experience in that?

invertedspear,

Nope!

molten_iron,

so what you mean is when i hit the grocery store i should buy half of the things with cash and the other half with card? wouldn’t that be more suspicious than just buying it all with cash this time and next time i use card and so on?

Cracks_InTheWalls,
@Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works avatar

Thing is, it’s not that uncommon to do this, and it’s not like the cashier is going to report you as suspicious to the relevant tax authority. Sometimes people don’t have the full value for groceries in their bank account, or are right at the tip of their credit limit - but do have cash on hand to cover the rest.

The point is to have a paper trail/transaction history of lesser value for the tax man. Two transactions in one visit is just as valid as two different visits using different payment methods.

Comes down to whether you feel awkward doing the first one I guess (cashiers generally won’t think twice about it, aside from maybe mild annoyance). It is a classic “Things aren’t going great for me rn” move - but who cares, you know the truth.

(Ignore all of this and pay your taxes, people)

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Or you just declare you found a bunch of money and pay taxes on it like a responsible citizen.

veganpizza69,
@veganpizza69@lemmy.world avatar

No, no, I come to Lemmy for petty moneylaundering tips.

fine_sandy_bottom,

I’m not in the US. This wouldn’t be taxable income where I am.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Then your nation is missing out on an obvious tax opportunity which is far less punitive than almost any other tax out there since it relies on someone being fortunate enough to stumble over some money.

RIPandTERROR,
@RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works avatar

Mmmmm no

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah, being a responsible citizen is for losers. Who wants a fire department or paved roads anyway?

RIPandTERROR,
@RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works avatar

Chase billionaires dude. Not people whose lives can be changed by a bit over $100,000. This is some stupid shit.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Why not both? Why shouldn’t both pay their fare share of taxes?

RIPandTERROR,
@RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works avatar

Why not stop licking leather? It’s a poor source of nutrients.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I have no idea what that has to do with taxation and fairness.

TubularTittyFrog,

because the rules only apply to bad people. good people don’t need no rules!

Kecessa,

They called the police and were told to keep the money since there’s no crime.

molten_iron,

for real? damn lucky bastards

Obi,
@Obi@sopuli.xyz avatar

Finders keepers, after all.

Xtallll,
@Xtallll@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

If I found that, no I didn’t, and now one would hear about it.

fmstrat,

Most magnet fishers work in groups.

scala,

Lemmi Safe delivers!!! Eat that reddit!

WhatsHerBucket,
@WhatsHerBucket@lemmy.world avatar

Lord I see what you do for others and I am ready to receive

Lost_My_Mind,

So THIS is why reddit is so obsessed with what’s inside the safes people find…they were looking for this one.

Darkassassin07,
@Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca avatar

Reddit safes are ALWAYS disappointing

gedaliyah,
@gedaliyah@lemmy.world avatar

I knew I left that somewhere.

empireOfLove2,
@empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Uh uh, no way, not touching that cash, that is 1000% a mafia deal gone wrong and collecting on it is how you get disappeared

ohwhatfollyisman,

i don’t understand why one would even broadcast such a find. just keep the cash and keep mum.

Darkassassin07,
@Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca avatar

You’d definitely have to declare it to the IRS minimum. But yeah, a national news story? You’re just asking for someone to ‘find’ proof it’s theirs; if not inviting a mugging/robbery.

CraigeryTheKid,

I’m sorry but if I magically find a box with $100K in it, the IRS is not on the list of people I tell.

I’m pretty sure I never told them about the motherboard I bought back in 2002 off NewEgg and I didn’t pay sales tax on it.

Darkassassin07,
@Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca avatar

Depending on your financial situation; an exta 100k suddenly appearing in your finances will turn some heads.

Missed sales tax on a small purchase; not so much.

someguy3,

Lol $100k US, but global is Canadian and they converted to $130k CAD.

Deebster,
@Deebster@programming.dev avatar

At first I thought it was another safe with even more money, and I was wondering if I should get a magnet.

Lost_My_Mind,

Magnet. How to they work?

Uhhhhh, very profitably, actually.

BonesOfTheMoon,

That part is extra funny.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • world@lemmy.world
  • fightinggames
  • All magazines