Gork

@Gork@lemm.ee

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Gork,

🦀🦀🦀

Gork,

Unrealistic for the party to open one of the doors. All doors should be kicked in.

Gork,

They should build a giant enclosure over the Kaaba so it can be air conditioned. Or at the very least put in those mister-fan combos all over the place that are in amusement parks.

Gork,

🦀🦀🦀

Gork,

Wouldn’t it make more sense for the Lego man head to fit into alternating butt slots instead of the left one only? This way the centipede doesn’t list to the left.

Gork,

https://files.catbox.moe/dlkh6u.jpg

Gork,

Sally forth the Queerletariat!

Gork,

Finally my years of Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V will finally pay off.

https://files.catbox.moe/tm5cv1.jpeg

Gork,

They say “we hope people renew”

So another 100 years? 200 years of hosting? Amazing.

Gork,

Yay, let’s hope they get out of gaming completely so we don’t have to deal with their shit.

Gork,

Ooh a modern Daggerfall? That sounds cool.

I dunno if I want to do a Kickstarter backing though, got burned in the past (looking at you Star Citizen).

Gork,

Wait my friends don’t want to see me playing Big Titty Committee 2?

Gork, (edited )

Just know that your desire to know more will intensify as you watch it.

Gork,

Baba slaga has a nice ring to it

Gork,

What happened to that statue lol

Gork,

“Have you tried rtfm?”

Gork,

Quality shitpost.

Gork,

Submerge America under the ocean and terraform Greenland to be the shape of a maple leaf.

Gork,

Caesar’s Legion may be thugs but at least they had a fine eye for ancient Roman decor and symbolism.

Gork,

[NAME] is currently out of the office for unfathomable reasons. It expects to be back in the office after 5 business days. If your business needs are urgent, please contact Yog-Sothoth by squealing the Bulgarian national anthem in reverse within your nearest phone booth.

Gork,

Finally, the Year of the Linux Desktop draws near!

Any year now. I hope.

Gork,

How shitty of a wine are we talking about here? Boxed wine that’s been exposed directly to the sun for months?

Gork,

The Gay Jewish Space Laser has been test fired. Please input coordinates for first strike.

Gork,

I prefer the Catholic version, “Nobody Poops But You.”

Gork,

Yeah I find it hard to believe that the Israeli intelligence apparatus, Mossad, one of the best HUMINT organizations on par with the old Soviet Union KGB, failed to see October 7 coming.

Also warnings from US SIGINT that an attack was probable about a month in advance.

Gork,

Who do they think they are? An AAAA publisher? Only Ubisoft has that dubious claim.

Gork,

It would be hilarious if he does get elected from prison. All of his meetings with foreign leaders would need to be by Zoom or equivalent, and that’s if he’s able to get special privileges to do so. If not, he’d have to do it all in a 15 minute phone call once a week like the rest of the prisoners. And he might have to eat Nutraloaf lol.

At least the cost of running Air Force One would go down to zero.

Gork,

You could smack everybody in Skyrim once with this, save the game, and be Thane by Default since everyone will be Stephen Hawkinged for the rest of the time you’ll play it.

Gork,

Is there anything high explosives can’t solve?

Gork,

As long as you have completed your lesson the bird won’t murder your family, so you’ve got that going for you at least.

Gork,

Fun fact: When you do a Google search on Paṭṭi-galḫi Canal, this post is the only one that shows up.

Gork,

In the future when it needs updating again, I hope the new version will be Rereremastered.

Gork, (edited )

Meanwhile at City Hall:

I know getting funding to tear it down can be difficult but hear me out, why don’t we just take out the “e” in slaves and repurpose the statue to celebrate our local Slavs by putting a track coat on it.

This would cost a lot less money to do since removing a letter is much less labor intensive than removing an entire statue.

(This is known as the Florence Y’all Approach)

Gork,

There was a hippo right between Upper and Lower Egypt. He united them but paid the ultimate price in doing so.

Gork,

What’s the range on this thing?

Gork,

There should be exactly 196 mods here, no more, no less. This is the only way it will make sense.

Gork,

Let’s hope for a future where SteamOS ushers in the Year of the Linux Desktop and SteamOS replaced Windows everywhere.

Gork,

✨ Being cryogenically frozen is a magical experience ✨

Gork, (edited )

Google’s AI generated overviews seem like a huge disaster lol.

https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbc66c9c1-5b9b-484a-9a72-c5f59d8a592c_1881x2000.jpeg

Gork,

So I guess the answer is to drink something coming off a pristine mountain. Some dew, perhaps?

Gork,

This sounds like an excuse to get the newbies to drink piss.

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